Fire and Blood
by Dreams of Eternity
Summary: Cassian Andor always knew he was destined to die a violent death... Until he met one Jyn Erso, at least. Jyn and Cassian escape the destruction on Scarif but only face further struggles reuniting with the Rebel Alliance, and a relationship forever changed by a critical moment shared on a beach. Rebelcaptain, Jyn/Cassian - more chapters to come!
1. Chapter one: fire and blood

I am writing this fanfiction one day after watching the film, and feeling both awestruck and horrified by the ending. It was so beautiful, but so… romantically unsatisfying! So I am writing this fic to satisfy my need for some rebelcaptain romance! Please note that while being a fan of the films, I am by no means a "Star Wars fan" and have not read a single novel or watched any of the offshoots. Feel free to correct any mistakes made - I am relying on Wikipedia to fill in the gaps. In addition, I have only seen the film once, and am mostly running from memory.

Without further ado, here is my alternate ending to the film. Obviously, I own no rights to the film or any of the characters. Please enjoy, and review if you find the time!

 **Chapter one: fire and blood**

 _There is no longer a way out of our present situation except by forging a road toward our objective, violently and by force, over a sea of blood and under a horizon blazing with fire. -_ _Gamal Abdul Nasser_

* * *

Cassian Andor always knew he was destined to die a violent death. It was a fitting end to a life violently lived, after all. Years spent fighting had long since forced him to realize that it was only a matter of time before it was his own life brought to an end by a rifle or a laser, instead of that of his target. One could only have only so many chances, and Cassian had certainly had more than his fair share of chances. He had witnessed enough death to know that there was nothing dignified about it. Life was fragile and brief; death was a mess of panic, pain, and blood.

His injuries were a single, throbbing reminder of this violent reality as his consciousness threatened to fade. Vibrant green eyes connected with his own, and as if doused with icy water Cassian's awareness returned. With a jolt, the turbolift that carried the ragged pair connected to the ground, and the captain and the rebel stumbled from what remained of the Citadel Tower into a wasteland of fire and blood.

Had it been anything other than the war machine that it was, the Death Star might have looked beautiful hovering on the Scarif horizon. As one, Cassian and Jyn Erso gazed at the orb suspended in the sky, and were blind to the carnage which surrounded them. Then her face turned, the light highlighting her cheekbone as those fierce, green eyes met his own. Those eyes had haunted him since Eadu. Dripping wet from the downpour they had faced each other, two orphans of war who had more in common then they possibly could have realised. He couldn't say when the relationship changed, but Cassian had never disobeyed an order before that day. But as he lay on the wet ground squinting through the scope of his sniper rifle, Galen Erso targeted and finger light on the trigger, a sudden and nagging doubt had filled him. Her words are still etched into his mind, a mantra which at the time had served only to intensify his guilt. _Trust goes both ways._ He thought he had long since buried that apprehension to kill, that weakness. That hesitation plagued him, an obstacle which frustrated the need to do _whatever was necessary_ to further the cause, and made him question this war and the methods it demanded. It had been years since that weakness had resurfaced, and it had made his finger tremble and his heart question the order to kill. Cassian could have sworn that he had locked it away, piece by painful piece.

Somehow, Jyn's presence had begun to fracture his carefully crafted prison. Somehow, she had caused that nagging guilt he had long since buried to resurface, and force him to question _why_ he had to kill a man who was a complete stranger. A man who was someone's father. Was it sudden, the shift from reluctant and wary colleague to loyal comrade? Or was it a slow and delicate thing, like the unfurling of petals on a budding flower? Regardless of how and when it happened, somehow, through their combined loss, Cassian and Jyn had found they were not so different, after all.

She is bracing him as they stumble toward the beach. He grips his side, and when he draws his hand back, it is sticky and slick with red. He wants to tell her to leave him, but the look in her eyes silences his words before they can form. How they have learned to communicate thoughts without the need for words is beyond him, but he knows now that she will not leave him. Not that there is anywhere for her to go - they had both witnessed the Death Star's destructive capacity at Jedha. And this time, there was no K-2, no ship to save them.

She stops abruptly and Cassian falls to his knees, Jyn collapsing to hers before him. They are both panting, gasping for breath, as their eyes lock. He fights to keep the tremor from his voice. "Your father would have been proud of you, Jyn." The words feel hollow, even to him. These are not the words that he ached to tell her. He takes her hand, and he sees in her eyes that she knows, she understands. She leans forward, her arms gripping him tightly as he pulls her close.

Cassian could not pinpoint when Jyn breached his carefully laid defences, but the hardened Rebel captain had caught himself entertaining dangerous thoughts of late. Perhaps dying for the cause wasn't the only possible ending for Cassian Andor. Perhaps the solitary prison which he had begun to meticulously construct the day he lost his parents did not need to be carried with him wherever he went. Of course, it had all been dangerous, delusional thinking from a soldier doomed to die for the cause from the age of six.

Jyn's hair had a sweet scent which was somehow not fully masked by the acrid stench of smoke and blood. Cassian closed his eyes and a smile touched his lips as he pulled her closer. She did not resist. This was a fitting end for a soldier, and he had been a fool to dream of more. Darkness threatened once again, and he marveled that his wounds no longer caused him pain. Maybe dying wasn't as awful as it seemed. Maybe the pained, terrified looks he had seen on so many others had disguised the fact that death could be a blessing.

His eyes flickered open. His ears were ringing, and the was sky too bright and too blurry. Cassian struggled to recall where he was, as some part of him realised that he was being shaken. Jyn's green eyes filled his sight, wide and urgent. She was yelling, trying to pull him up, and he struggled to focus on her words, to force his limbs to respond. Rough arms encircled his chest and he was suddenly brought stumbling back to his feet. Jyn's hand was still clenched in his own, and he tried to focus his blurry vision on his bloody fingers intertwined with her own.

He was lying on his back. He could hear shouting and the groan and screech of metal. Opening his eyes brought shifting, unfocused images until he anchored himself in her familiar green eyes. Slowly, Jyn's face gained resolution, and he felt a twinge of disquiet at her fearful look. Her beautiful, full lips were parted. She was shouting. She lowered a hand to touch his face, and it was oh so bloody. A detached part of his mind worried whether the blood was hers. Her forehead grazed his and he felt a hot wetness on his cheeks, tasting salt on his lips. Distantly, he wondered if the salty taste was from Jyn's tears, or his own blood. Sounds slowly began to resolve themselves around him: the resounding, piercing alarm of a ship losing altitude, shouts of the ship's crew, and in his ear, her voice. _Stay with me. You said you were with me. Don't leave me Cassian!_

He couldn't maintain his focus; he grasped at the fraying threads of his awareness as the nagging, fearful thought that he was dying was lost to the inky blackness that enveloped him. He forced his lips to form hoarse and whispered words, the tearful green eyes of the rebel, _his_ rebel, the last image etched in his fading mind. " _All the way_ …"

* * *

Well that is it for the first chapter! Hope you enjoyed it! I anticipate being able to post the second chapter in the next few days, after which time updates will probably come a bit slower.


	2. A short hop along the Corellian Run

A google search attempting to discover how fast hyperspace travel is did not result in much success. What I took from it is that it is _really fast_ , depending on how fast the ship is. And how direct the route is. Maybe I'll turn into a true Star Wars fan by the time I finish writing this! Anyways, I am taking some creative liberties with the hyperspace travel time! Also, I found a super-cool searchable map that shows where all the planets are in the Star Wars galaxy!

* * *

 **Chapter two: a short hop along the Corellian Run**

 _It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time. - Sir Winston Churchill_

* * *

Outside the starship, the surface of Scarif was engulfed in flames. Inside the shuddering spacecraft, chaos reigned.

The man who had helped Jyn haul Cassian's prone body onto the craft promptly shut the cargo bay doors and darted into the cockpit. "This shuttle's been damaged by the surface fighting! The hyperdrive looks like it'll barely hold together. We won't make it back to Yavin 4; we'll be lucky to survive even a short hyperspace jump-"

The harried voices from the cockpit sounded warped to Jyn over the craft's shrieking alarms. She tried unsuccessfully to slow her ragged breathing, her mind spinning as she questioned the words that she _thought_ she had heard Cassian utter before his eyes had closed and she had screamed his name once again, this time fearing the worst. She used the back of her fist to roughly wipe away tears that she couldn't recall having spilled and shifted, delicately placing Cassian's head on her lap as she attempted to brace his unconscious form from worst of the airship's shaking.

A second speaker barked: "Course is laid - just get us the hell out of here!"

There was a flurry of movement, more cursing, and then Jyn felt a familiar drop in her gut as the ship made the jump to hyperspace. A remote part of her marvelled that the craft had successfully made the jump before fully clearing the planet's atmosphere. Then again, it was the second time in, what - days? weeks? - that she had done so. Jyn glanced down at the face of the injured captain with whom she had so narrowly escaped the destruction of Jedha, an event which now seemed as remote as if it had happened in another life. His eyes were closed as she cradled his head in her lap, and if it weren't for his injuries, he might had looked peaceful. _Or dead._ She resisted a sudden flood of panic and swallowed hard, forcing back a rush of bile as she looked desperately to his chest, anxiously awaiting the rise and fall of his breath. When a slight movement confirmed that the captain, although injured, was still alive, she exhaled loudly and blinked back the blurriness that threatened her vision.

"Can't you turn those goddamned alarms off!" The shout, almost drowned out by the piercing of the ship's alarms, was soon followed by merciful silence. The only sounds now were the hum of the ship's hyperdrive and Jyn's haggard breathing, loud and erratic in her ears.

She glanced up wildly as movement caught her eye. One of their saviours, the one who had helped her to get Cassian on board, had returned from the cockpit. He caught her eye and tossed an object her way. She caught the imperial medpac without flinching, her reflexes honed from years of training under Saw Gerrera.

"We'll be lucky if the hyperdrive holds together…" the Alliance soldier muttered as he opened a hatch to access the maintenance panels, disappearing as abruptly as he'd appeared.

Jyn closed her eyes, inhaling deeply through her nose and then exhaling loudly. Out of habit, she reached up to her collarbone to grasp the kyber crystal which hung from her neck. _I am one with the Force. The Force is with me. I am one with the Force. The Force is with me._ Turning her attention to the medpac, she flipped it open, grateful to see a full assortment of medical equipment, including several bacta patches. Cassian's head was still resting on her knees, and she gently extracted herself and turned her mind to her next crucial task - keeping him alive.

Her attention now focused solely on her patient, she quickly took stock of the situation. The side of Cassian's head was bloody; his hair was matted with it. Ascertaining that the cut was shallow and not life-threatening, she ignored it and moved her attention downwards. His shoulders and arms seemed fine. Continuing her inspection, she frowned when she reached his torso. His side was still wet with fresh blood. She carefully peeled away his shirt, which had been stained a scarlet red, and tore away the material to gain access to the wound. Reaching for the antiseptic and some clean bandages, she worked first to do her best to clean and sterilize the injury.

Jyn refused to look at Cassian's face as she worked deftly to clean the wound. Thinking about _who_ she was trying to keep alive would bring back that suffocating sense of panic, and Jyn knew that she could not afford to panic.

The injury was as clean as it was going to get. Ignoring the slight tremor in her hands, Jyn reached for a bacta patch, tearing open the packaging and placing pressure on the patch as she applied it to the wound on Cassian's torso. "If you die on me Andor, I swear I will follow you wherever you end up just to kill you all over again." She grit her teeth together, and for a moment could have sworn that his lips twitched in response to her muttered threat.

With that life-threatening injury taken care of, she now moved her attention to the rest of him. His fall from the column in the archive library had surely caused injury, but if so, it was internal. She knew from supporting him as they stumbled from the turbolift to the beach that his leg was injured, but her medical skills lacked the sophistication to determine if there was a broken bone or not. "Maybe it's a good thing, if I can't tell if it's broken…" Jyn sighed, sitting back on her heels to observe her patient. Cassian still looked like he might be on death's door, but at least while he was unconscious, and clearly still breathing and alive, she allowed herself to feel a brief flutter of hope that maybe, just maybe, their chances had not yet been spent.

Putting aside the blood-soaked bandages, she then used the antiseptic to clean the shallow cut on the side of his forehead, taking a tube of bacta fluid from the medpac and applying a thin layer to the laceration. "What you need is a bacta tank, and a med droid who knows what the hell they are doing…" She smoothed the matted hair away from his forehead, and gulping, swiftly shoved down the deluge of emotion that threatened to overtake her again. Taking another bandage, Jyn took a moment to clean the blood from her hands, vainly attempting to stop their shaking. This time she was sure _not_ to look at Cassian.

With the immediate danger of Cassian dying now (hopefully) passed, she took a moment to gather herself, settling her face into a familiar, emotionless mask. Rising, Jyn winced as she put weight on her injured ankle. She had forgotten all about the aches and pains in her own body in the adrenalin rush that followed their impromptu rescue. Fairly certain that it was just a sprain, Jyn grit her teeth together and shuffled to the cockpit, taking care to keep weight off the injured foot.

The Rebel pilot barely acknowledged her as she entered. "Your partner still alive?"

Jyn nodded, then realized that he obviously couldn't see her. "Yeah, for now. He needs medical care, though."

"Don't we all," the pilot said, although not unkindly. He glanced up towards her. "We were part of the Alliance ground reinforcements - we started looking for our own ride when we realized that nobody had planned to come back to pick us up. Thought we were goners for sure when that… _thing_ showed up in the sky. And then just like an answer to our prayers, we crossed over a sand dune and found this Imperial piece of shit," at that he slapped his hand down on the dash, then gave Jyn a toothy smile. "But a damaged Imperial shuttle is better than dyin', so we helped ourselves and just as we were settling in to leave saw you two not far off on the beach." The pilot suddenly sobers, the smile melting from his face. "Scarif… the whole base, all our men… _gone_ , just like that. What chance does the Rebellion have, against something so powerful?"

Jyn doesn't know if he expects an answer. She doesn't think she can provide one. For a moment, her mind shifts to K-2, then to Chirrut, Baze, and Bodhi... _Don't go there. Not now._

She shakes her head and forces the thoughts from her mind. She doesn't have the energy, and Cassian doesn't have the time, to explain to this pilot that their foolhardy plan had succeeded - that the plans for the Death Star were now in Rebel hands. Did any of it even matter now? They had barely escaped Scarif with their lives, and were hurtling through space in a shuttle that sounded like it might give out at any moment. To Jyn, the Alliance's war and the battle for the Death Star's plans suddenly seemed far away.

Her grim musing is interrupted by the entrance of the second Rebel, who nods at her briefly before settling himself into the co-pilot's seat. "The hyperdrive is close to being caput."

The pilot nods. "Just like I figured. We won't make it to Yavin 4, so we'll have to find ourselves another ride to get there. I've plotted our course to Tatooine - it's not as far from Scarif as I'd like to be, but at least it's enough of a hellhole that we aren't likely to run into too much Imperial trouble."

Jyn frowns. _Tatooine_. She had passed through the planet on multiple occasions. There had always been plenty of work, at least for someone with her unique set of skills. "You'll draw attention to yourselves if you try and land this Imperial shuttle in Mos Eisley, unless you know someone to bribe, and have a fortune to pay for it…"

The pilot shares a glance with his companion. "We know that. While you were patchin' up your partner, I made arrangements with an Alliance contact who's agreed to get us off Tatooine. We're going to land outside of the city, on the Great Mesra Plateau. From there, we destroy this shuttle, and our contact will pick us up to take us into the city, and then off planet. This shuttle probably has a locator on it, anyway. It's too dangerous to just abandon, and it's likely not going to fly for much longer regardless."

Jyn had been nodding. The plan wasn't ideal, but it should work. Mos Eisley was teeming with smugglers and criminals; a ship entering the atmosphere but not berthing in the hangar would probably go unnoticed. And if it didn't, and someone got a bit too curious and decided to investigate, all they would find would be whatever rubble was left over after they blew the shuttle.

"There's only one problem."

At this, the two men exchanged a look that instantly raised Jyn's hackles. She rolled back her shoulders, wincing in pain as she asked, "and what is that?"

The pilot exhaled. "Our contact isn't actually with the Alliance, he's just a sympathizer to the cause. He can smuggle us aboard his freighter, but his passenger capacity is tight and he won't be keen to cause any trouble or raise attention to himself. Bringing an injured fellow on board is certain to raise some questions."

The co-pilot glanced up to her. "But we could probably take you, if you want-"

Jyn shook her head, cutting him off. "No. I'm not leaving him. And he's too injured to haul onto another starship without being treated first, anyway. Thanks for the offer."

The pilot nodded and the other man sighed, looking relieved.

"You've done enough already by getting us off Scarif, and I have some of my own contacts in Tatooine. Can you get us into Mos Eisley?"

The pilot nodded. "That shouldn't be a problem."

Jyn felt a sense of relief. The situation was far from good, but now at least she knew what it was. And if she understood the situation, she could plan her next move. "Good. I need access to a computer."

The co-pilot nodded and stood to lead her back to the cargo bay, talking as he rose. "I need to start work on setting up the self-destruct sequence. I saw some mobile computers in a storage bin in the cargo bay, along with some Imperial blasters. You'll probably be needing both."

Jyn stepped aside to allow him to pass, and paused. "And... thanks… for everything. We were ready to…"

The pilot waved her off over his shoulder. "We all were. I lost more than a few good friends today; figured it was the least we could do to try and save at least two lives. We're not far off from Tatooine, so I suggest you focus on finding your partner a med facility in Mos Eisley."

Retreating back to the cargo bay as she followed the co-pilot, Jyn's mind was racing. Her imprisonment on Wobani had severed her access to the various networks used by Outer Rim's criminal underworld, and it would require some effort to regain entry. The co-pilot rifled through a storage container, and she accepted the mobile computer with a murmured thanks.

"There are some Imperial issued blasters in that compartment over there. Help yourself." The co-pilot gestured to a compartment near the cockpit entrance, then returned to join the pilot.

Jyn placed the mobile computer on the ground next to Cassian, then moved to the compartment. Opening the lid, she noted without surprise that it contained only the Imperial standard issue E-11 blaster rifles. She selected one, hefting it with a familiarity that spoke of frequent use, and took a moment to ensure that it was in good working order and that the power cells were full.

Satisfied with her new weapon, she selected another one, glancing back to double check that Cassian's blaster pistol was still secured in its holster at his side. She swallowed as the unbidden image of Krennic's cruel, victorious face rose suddenly in her mind. _I lose nothing but time. You die with the rebellion._ Cassian had come to her aid with that blaster pistol, appearing as if from nowhere to shoot Krennic and save her life. Forcing back the emotions brought on by the memory, Jyn closed the compartment, and settled herself cross-legged in front of Cassian. While the computer was booting up, she watched the rise and fall of Cassian's chest. She didn't dare look at his face. The fact that he was breathing meant that he was alive, and that was all that mattered right now.

 _Stop thinking. Start working. He's not out of the woods yet._ Getting past the initial Imperial security system was a simple matter once the mobile computer came online. The trickier part was locating the encrypted network that served as a hub for the seedier businesses that operated on Tatooine. Just like the shifting underbelly that fed it, the network's location was constantly shifting to avoid unwanted Imperial attention. As she worked to gain access to the network, Jyn mentally cycled through the list of smugglers, criminals, and industrialists located on Tatooine whom she had encountered over the years. The first name that came to mind caused her lips to curl into a scowl. _Not him. Keep thinking._

She was in. Her fingers flew over the keys as she searched. From the cockpit, she heard the pilot shout, "five more minutes!"

 _No good. She's still furious after the last job went south and I had to dump the cargo. What did she expect? Even I get boarded sometimes._ Her eyes scanned the screen as she sifted through the data with a precision gained from a lifetime of experience. _Gone. Must have been arrested or moved the business off-world._ A minute ticked past and her search became a bit more frantic. Even criminals needed a medical clinic to recuperate away from prying eyes at times, but quality healthcare came at a cost and was often troublesome to find. Another minute passed, and Jyn exhaled in frustration. _No choice. It has to be him. Hopefully he's still not mad about those missing credits…_

Sending an encrypted message using the same alias that she had used under his employ, Liana Hallik, she turned her attention to her financial accounts. _Not too healthy._ Acknowledging that she would need to pick up more work on Tatooine to cover what would certainly amount to exorbitant medical fees, she transferred a large portion of her existing credits to the proper account. _Now he has no reason to shoot me, at least not right away…_

Her task complete, her eyes finally rose, again watching Cassian's breast as it faintly rose and fell with each breath. "You had better be worth all this trouble…" She had to again force thoughts of the battle at Scarif out of her mind. She would have time to reflect on that chaotic jumble of shooting and running later; time later to ruminate on what had happened on the beach. Unwittingly, a flush rose to her cheeks as she felt her heart beat faster. Cassian's arms had been warm around her, and she had wanted to melt at the truth she had seen in his eyes. For the first time since her father had held her as a child and called her Stardust, Jyn Erso had felt safe. She closed her eyes hard, forcing her lids to stay shut for several more seconds as she distanced herself from such dangerous thoughts. _One thing at a time._ She did not dare dwell on that moment, did not dare investigate the flood of feelings that surged through her whenever she thought back to the look in the captain's deep brown eyes.

 _First thing's first._ Cassian needed medical care, and Jyn was not thrilled by the identity of the individual that she had been forced to seek it from.

A familiar lurching sensation served to inform her that they had dropped out of hyperspace, meaning they were quickly approaching Tatooine. While she found the necessity of relying on this contact from her former life particularly distasteful, Jyn also knew one thing for certain: without question, saving the captain's was worth it.

* * *

Ta da! Second chapter complete! I was so excited to discover on the star map that Tatooine is actually quite close to Scarif… which makes sense when you consider the events in _A New Hope_. Anyways, I have no plans to seriously incorporate the characters from _A New Hope_ in this fic, but we may or may not bump into them. Thanks again for the lovely reviews - it has been a _very_ long time since I tried my hand at writing, and appreciate your kind words!

Being the perpetual student that I am, I am headed back to classes tomorrow. I already have ideas for the next few chapters in my brain, it's just a matter of getting them typed out. Either way, expect less frequent updates, but hopefully good ideas! Happy New Year!


	3. A sandy planet in the Outer Rim

Whew, this ended up taking a bit longer to write than initially anticipated! I wish I could say that this chapter is full of nail-biting excitement, but it's really more of a setting-things-up chapter before more interesting things happen in the following ones :)

* * *

 **Chapter three: a sandy planet in the Outer Rim**

 _Rocks in my path? I keep them all. With them I shall build my castle. - Nemo Nox_

* * *

The wind whipped at her hair as Jyn crouched in the landspeeder, one hand splayed against the passenger door of the craft for balance while the other rested lightly on Cassian's knee. Having carried him as delicately as possible from the Imperial shuttle to the speeder, after some deliberation they had finally ended up propping the unconscious captain awkwardly in the passenger seat as the two-seater vehicle had not allowed for anything better. Shifting her weight, Jyn winced as a sharp pain rose from her injured ankle. Her joints were already starting to tingle from squatting in such cramped quarters, but it couldn't be helped. Two landspeeders had been sent to pick them up, and it was either crouch in the leg space up front and keep an eye on Cassian, or balance on the back. She chose the option that allowed her to keep an eye on the injured captain. As she looked left from her cramped position, she could just make out the second speeder that carried the two Alliance soldiers next to them. From her vantage point facing the rear of the craft, she had a clear view of the trail of black smoke they had left behind. Soon even the smoke would fade, and the shifting desert sands would envelop the wreckage of the shuttle they had left behind, hopefully shrouding all evidence of their passage in the process.

Twisting around to look forward, she winced at the brightness created by the sunlight reflecting off the sand, and raised her hand to shield her eyes. She saw nothing ahead but the same desolate landscape they had left behind. The heat created ripples in the air above the ground and caused it to shimmer in waves. Jyn wiped at the perspiration beading her brow, the wind offering precious little respite from the oppressive heat. The driver turned his face toward her, keeping his eyes focused on the desolate vista that stretched out endlessly before them. "Still a ways to go, Miss," he stated matter-of-factly.

Shifting her weight in a futile attempt to get comfortable, Jyn turned back around, listlessly watching the sand eddies thrown up in the wake of the speeder's repulsorlift engine. The scenery was unchanging, the sand glaringly bright as it reflected the sun's rays. Her eyes began to droop closed, and she felt her thoughts begin to drift. Feeling her chin nod forward, she started, shaking her head to clear away the fogginess. Fleetingly, she wondered how long it had been since she last slept.

Slumped in the seat directly across from her, Cassian looked appalling. His head lolled forward with the motion of the speeder, and she noted with concern that the bacta patch on his abdomen was now darkly stained. She felt a sudden pang of guilt that they had not been able to keep him fully reclined, and that they had not moved him more carefully. While Jyn's hurried medical care might have saved him from bleeding out in the cargo bay of the hijacked Imperial shuttle, she was by no means a professional, and she didn't need a medical droid's prognosis to see that he desperately needed medical care. "Just a little longer Cassian. Hang in there…" Jyn had never considered herself a spiritual person. She didn't believe in a God, although her experiences over the past few days had caused her to begin re-evaluating her longheld view that the Force was nothing more than mere folklore. She could not say who she sent the prayer to, but as she crouched in the back of the speeder, Jyn prayed harder than she had ever before for Cassian to please, _please_ , be alright.

The speeder began to slow. She tried to ignore the discomfort in her exhausted, cramped muscles as she attempted to stretch them out as much as the small space allowed. Wiping absently at the sheen of perspiration on her forehead, she could feel sweat trickling unpleasantly down her spine, doubtless creating sweaty trails in the dirt and dried blood that already coated her skin. Twisting her body to once again look forward, Jyn recognized the drab, sand-coloured domes of Mos Eisley. As the speeder slowed further in its approach, her nose crinkled as the palpable smell of the desert city reached her nostrils. "It looks and smells the exact same," she muttered to herself. "Nothing's changed."

She began paying closer attention to the laneways that they passed by as the speeder moved more slowly through the winding streets of Mos Eisley. When she finally started recognizing certain buildings, she placed her hand on the driver's shoulder. "Now to the right." As she directed him through the maze of alleyways and lanes, she noticed that the second speeder carrying the two Alliance soldiers had kept pace with them, and was now following closely behind.

"Stop here." The speeder pulled over and the driver cut the engine, and Jyn rose slowly, wincing at the spread of tiny needles of pain through her legs as her sleeping muscles were forced awake. She hopped out of the speeder gracelessly, trying to land on her good leg and stumbling slightly as the feeling came tingling back to her limbs. The two rebel pilots had disembarked from the second speeder, and approached her quickly. "This is hardly a reputable neighborhood," the pilot muttered.

"Exactly. The law doesn't reach too far in Mos Eisley, and I expect we should be safe enough here until Ca- my partner, I mean, recovers." Despite her confident words, even Jyn glanced at the dilapidated exterior of the building before them with some trepidation. She was familiar with the neighborhood, true, but had never been to this specific location before. But, this was without a doubt the address which had transmitted to her before she had powered off the mobile computer and disembarked from the shuttle.

 _Only one way to be sure._ Setting back her shoulders, she stepped forward and pressed the call-button on the door, shifting her weight nervously as the seconds dragged by. She was acutely aware of how exposed they were, and that two speeders idling in the street would soon draw unwanted attention. Without warning, the door slid open soundlessly, and when it revealed a standard issue 2-1B surgical droid she let out a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding. "Miss Hallik. I received instructions from the Master to expect your arrival."

Jyn nodded. "Great. My colleague needs help, and quickly."

The droid stood aside, and Jyn returned to help the two Alliance men carefully transfer Cassian indoors. The droid led them through the unassuming entryway and into a building which appeared to have a floor plan typical of an unassuming Tatooine household. From what appeared to be the main living quarters, the droid led them through a second doorway, this one opening only to reveal stairs which led underground. At the bottom, they arrived at another door which silently swished open to reveal a pristine looking, albeit small, medical facility. They laid Cassian down on the surgical table, and the droid promptly went to work on its new patient using a medical scanner.

"Well, we'll be off now, then," said the Alliance pilot, pivoting to leave.

"Wait!" Jyn reached out to catch his arm, and he turned. "I don't know how to repay you. If we meet again-"

The pilot interrupted her with a hand. "I'll tell you what: _if_ we all make it outta here alive, and _if_ we ever see each other again, drinks are on you." He grinned, and she followed him back outside and into the suffocating heat. "But for now, we still have a ways to go, and a fair bit of Imperial space to travel through before we reach Yavin 4. Best we stay strangers for now, if you take my meaning." Reaching the speeder that Jyn had travelled in, he reached in to grab the bag which she had hastily packed and handed it to her. "Farewell and goodluck. May the Force be with you," the traditional farewell was delivered with a wave of his hand.

Jyn nodded, clutching the satchel containing the two Imperial blaster rifles, the pistol she had after some deliberation relieved Cassian of, the mobile computer, and what was left of the medpac. The co-pilot raised his hand and she waved back, and then with a cloud of dust the two speeders were gone.

Jyn raised her hand to shade her eyes as she tracked the two speeders until even the cloud of sand behind them had settled, then turned back and retraced her steps to arrive back in the blissful cool of the underground medical facility. As the door swished closed behind her she hurried as quickly as her ankle would carry her toward the medical droid who was hovering over Cassian's prone form.

"This humanoid is critically injured." The toneless voice held no accusation, but Jyn winced at it anyway. "Laceration to the frontal scalp. A potentially moderate to severe concussion. A broken clavicle. Three cracked ribs. A severe puncture wound to the left abdomen. The right tibia has been fractured." The droid pauses. "The bacta patch to the abdominal injury successfully prolonged the patient's life. Extensive bacta tank treatment required. Proceeding to prepare for full bacta immersion therapy."

Jyn felt frozen as a sudden wave of helplessness rose in her chest. She stared miserably at Cassian's prone form, the drone's words echoing in her head.

"Your current position is obstructing effective treatment." She started, suddenly realizing that the drone was standing directly in front of her, and if a droid could appear irritated, this one most certainly would have.

Feeling foolish, she quickly moved out of the way and went to stand near the door, keeping weight off her injured ankle. Trying to ignore how helpless she felt, she watched as the droid used surgical scissors to remove Cassian's shirt and then to delicately work at removing the soiled bacta patch.

She was so fixated on observing the droid, one hand gripping the kyber crystal that hung from her neck, that she did not hear the door open silently beside her.

"Liana Hallik. What a pleasure to see you again."

Startled at the sound of the predatory voice so close beside her, she stepped quickly back to increase the distance between them, her heart pounding in her chest. Jyn tried to ignore her racing pulse and the way her finger twitched at the empty holster at her side. Exhaling, she tried to mask her discomfort, inwardly cursing herself for being caught off-guard. _Saw Gerrera would be disappointed._ She struggled to keep the emotion from her voice as she spoke with what she hoped was a relaxed tone. "Crake. It's been a long time. Thank you for responding so quickly."

The thus-dubbed Crake smiled, his lips drawing back from perfect, straight white teeth in a manner that she found distinctly unsettling. "You've been busy since last we met, Liana. What kind of trouble have you gotten yourself into this time?" At this, he motions lazily towards the medical droid.

"He's a client." The words rushed out too quickly, too nervously, and Jyn inwardly kicked herself.

"A client, hmm? Another shipment that you were supposed to be protecting?" At this, Crake's tone cooled visibly.

"You never told me that you were transporting _people_ , Crake. I was hired to protect shipments of _goods_ , not to help you enrich yourself off slavery." She attempted to keep the fury from her voice, but images of opening that crate and seeing not spice from the Kessel mines as she'd been lead to believe but a dying, starved girl _\- she was only_ _a_ _child! -_ rose up in her throat like bile. She clenched her jaw tight to keep herself from saying something she would later regret, smoothing her face and attempting to look impassive.

Crake shrugged, looking bored as he flicked a non-existent object from the shoulder of his immaculately cut suit. "You were paid to provide a service; the contents being shipped were none of your concern. I lost quite a few credits on that business venture. More importantly, I lost face with a valuable client." For a moment, the look Crake gave her made Jyn wish she had kept Cassian's blaster on her person, until the look disappeared and was replaced with a serpentine smile. "Well, no matter. The past is the past. We can discuss such details over dinner, yes?"

He clasped Jyn by the elbow, steering from her from the room. Her protest died in her throat as Crake gave her a heavy look. "Your… _client_ is in capable hands. Let us leave the droid to complete its task. In the meantime, allow me to show you to your quarters."

Jyn glanced back over her shoulder as she was led her from the room, feeling her heart clench as the door closed and she lost sight of Cassian. Back upstairs on the main floor, she was led into another side room, this one revealing simple living quarters. "I know it's not much, but please make yourself comfortable." Crake moved back to the door, turning back as he exited. "How about I send an escort to collect you in four standard hours for dinner?" She opened her mouth to protest, and he forestalled her with an upheld hand. "It's quite a journey from here, and the streets of Mos Eisley are no place for a lady like yourself. Please, accept my humble gesture, and we can discuss business over dinner."

Jyn was no fool. This was not an offer, and Crake certainly wouldn't be sending along an escort for the purpose of protecting _her_. _Sending along guards is more like it._ Refusing to let her unease show, she schooled her features and forced a placid smile to her lips as she nodded. "Sounds fine to me."

"Excellent. I suggest you take some time to rest, and to tidy up. It looks like you could use both." And with a that, Crake was gone, the door closing silently behind him.

Feeling suddenly forlorn, Jyn dropped the satchel she had been carrying on the bed and sat down next to it. Letting out a sigh, she felt her face drop into her hands. _Nothing to be done about it now._ She rose and moved slowly to the bathroom, feeling her profound exhaustion not only in every aching muscle, but mentally as well. She glanced up, and was shocked to see her reflection in the mirror. _And I thought Cassian looked bad._ Her hair was a tangled mess, mottled grey with dust. Her clothing was a write-off. Glancing down at her hands, she picked absently at the dried blood under her nails. She needed a shower.

But first, she needed sleep, sleep and a plan. She turned on the tap, conscientious of the precious commodity on the desolate planet. Splashing water on her face, she did her best to clean the blood from her hands, then turned off the tap and moved back to the bedroom.

As she sat down on the bed, she took Cassian's pistol from the satchel and placed it down beside her. As her fingers brushed over the well-worn indents on the grip of the weapon, she wondered about the man who had made them. _Why all the trouble for someone you don't even know? You can leave - take the gun and go - forget the Alliance. Forget Cassian._

Closing her eyes, she pushed away the voice in her head. It belonged to the old Jyn, the Jyn whose loyalty belonged to no one, the Jyn who didn't give a rat's ass about the struggles between the Alliance and the Imperial army. She let out a sigh, placing the pistol carefully next to her pillow before letting it go. She knew that she could not go back to who she was before. Troublesome or not, her future was now bound with Cassian's, and she would be damned if she left him stranded on Tatooine with someone like Crake. Setting the alarm to go off in two hours, Jyn looked tiredly at the light switch across the room for a long moment before lying down. Without further thought, she slipped into a deep, dreamless slumber. The light stayed on.

* * *

The jarring alarm sounded far too soon. With a groan, Jyn rolled over to shut it off and sat up, wincing as her aching and bruised body protested the movement. She felt as though she'd been trampled by a dewback.

As she sat up, she became immediately aware of the fact that a dress had appeared in her room while she had been sleeping. Standing to gaze at the shimmering and expensive-looking green cloth of a dress far too revealing, she felt her lips curl in disgust. "He is delusional if he thinks I am wearing that."

Glancing at the time, she shook off the last remnants of her too-brief sleep and placed Cassian's pistol in the holster at her side as she strode from the room. She paused in the entryway, glancing at the door that lead downstairs. _Just a quick look._ Trying to move quickly down the stairs with a sprained ankle involved a strange hybrid between a hop and a shuffle, but she quickly reached the bottom and entered the medical clinic. As the door opened, the 2-1B surgical droid glanced up at her. "Miss Hallik. The patient is undergoing a bacta tank treatment. As I explained before, the required treatment is extensive and the patient will be in the bacta tank for at least twenty-four hours."

She dimly heard herself express something in response, her attention locked on the form suspended in the bacta tank. She moved forward, feeling a deeply held tension somewhere inside her release as she confirmed that the figure within was breathing and very much alive. She stared at Cassian, feeling an absurd and sudden desire to be able to look into his eyes and to see him smile.

She realized with a start that the droid was still speaking to her in a monotone voice. "There is no need for you to check in on the patient. I assure you, he is unconscious and will remain so until the end of the treatment."

"Right… er, yes, thank you." Tearing her eyes away, she felt immeasurably lighter as she left the clinic. Cassian was alive. And if he was alive, she could surely handle someone like Crake. Setting her shoulders, she walked back up the stairs, and even her ankle seemed to cause her less pain. Reaching the top of the stairs, she strode purposely out the door, her next task clear in her mind: finding new clothes, and perhaps a few more weapons.

* * *

There it is, chapter three complete! Thanks again to those who left the kind reviews. I have already started writing chapter four, so stay tuned!


	4. A sleeping sickness

Here we are, on to Chapter four! I appreciate those who left reviews about how I have written Jyn's character. One of the things I liked most about her in the film was how she succeeded at being both strong and vulnerable. I also really loved how her relationship with Cassian formed on such equal footing - I hope to honour that in my own writing. Well, without further ado, please enjoy the next chapter! I have actually written quite a bit more, but it was getting seriously long, so I've decided to break this up into two shorter chapters.

* * *

 **Chapter four: a sleeping sickness**

 _I awoke_

 _Only to find my lungs empty_

 _And through the night_

 _So it seems I'm not breathing_

 _And now my dreams are nothing like they were meant to be_

 _And I'm breaking down, I think I'm breaking down_

 _._

 _And I'm afraid_

 _To sleep because of what haunts me_

 _Such as living with the uncertainty_

 _That I'll never find the words to say_

 _Which would completely explain_

 _Just how I'm breaking down_

 _._

 _\- City and Colour - Sleeping Sickness_

* * *

Jyn tsked as she slipped through the door and into the blissful cool of her temporary lodging, mentally tallying her shrinking credit balance as she brought her haul to the bedroom. _Damned Jawas._ She had succeeded in trading the two Imperial blaster rifles, which were too noticeable to be useful, for a vibrodagger, a baton, and another blaster pistol.

She dropped the bag on the floor, stripping off her dust-ridden clothes and leaving on only the kyber crystal necklace as she stepped into the shower. Turning the the water on, she winced at the scalding heat, the water running brown from her body as the dust and blood from the past day poured down the drain. When she stepped from the shower several minutes later, her skin was pink and stinging from the heat, but at least it was clean.

Wrapping herself in a towel, she moved to the bed, favoring her ankle as she did so. Sitting down, she reached for the medpac and removed the tube of bacta fluid, smearing a thin layer over her swollen ankle, wondering idly if the miraculous fluid was effective at treating both swelling and torn ligaments. _Only one way to find out_... Wrapping the ankle tightly with a bandage, she squinted critically at her work. It would suffice.

Checking the time, she noted that she had about forty-five minutes remaining. Reaching into the bag she had brought back with her, she slipped into the sand-coloured clothing that she had purchased, hoisting on similarly coloured trousers and securing the loose tunic with a leather belt at her waist. She had selected clothing typical of Tatooine, made of a lightweight, breathable material and neutrally coloured to reflect the heat and blend in with the barren environment. The tunic was looser than she liked, but on the positive side, it also meant she could more easily conceal a weapon. She picked up the bag, rifling through the clothing that she hoped would fit Cassian to select the vibrodagger, baton and blaster pistol that she had purchased. She placed the new weapons into the satchel containing Cassian's pistol and placed it back under the bed, sliding the bag as far back as she could.

Rummaging in the bag containing the spoils of her shopping expedition, she pulled out a ration, chewing on ir distractedly while she settled herself cross-legged on the bed and reached for the mobile computer. As it was booting up, she ran the fingers of her free hand through her tangled hair, trying to work out the worst of the knots. When the computer's ready screen showed, she abandoned her hair, swallowing the last of the ration without really tasting it.

Accessing the network was a simple task now that she knew the way, and she began immediately hunting for short-term work. Mos Eisley was a vile city, but its vast criminal network meant there should be multiple opportunities for her to ply her trade. Her time now short, Jyn sent several encrypted offers to three potential employers. She signed her messages with an alias not associated with an Imperial criminal record and an armed jailbreak, Kestrel Dawn.

Hearing a knock at the door, she logged off and shut down the computer, glancing questioningly at the weapons stored beneath the bed before opting to leave them where they were. She had just reached the door when it opened of its own accord, revealing her two "escorts", one tall Twi'lek and another human. The first guard stepped forward and motioned for her to hold her arms out in front of her. After being patted down with no weapon discovered on her person, she proceeded to follow her guards from the building, readying herself for what she knew would be a trying evening.

* * *

"Ah, Liana." Crake's polished tone failed to disguise his distaste as he took in her casual appearance. "Did my dress offend you?"

Jyn greeted his disapproving appraisal with a deadpan stare. "This was more suitable," she said flatly.

"Well, no matter!" Crake waved in what was surely meant to be a conciliatory gesture. "Please, follow me." Jyn's guards disappeared as she followed Crake further into his labyrinthian compound, losing track of the twists and turns before they arrived at a small dining room. The room was exquisitely furnished, and much like everything Crake owned, had probably cost a small fortune to adorn. As he pulled back a chair for her to sit, Jyn awkwardly muttered a thanks, settling herself uncomfortably into the seat as he moved to seat himself across from her. No sooner had he sat than a door on the opposite side of the room soundlessly opened to admit two servants, one placing platters of food before them while the other poured a deep red liquid in her glass. "Alderaanian wine. Hopefully it is to your liking. Please, eat!"

Jyn formulated what she hoped was a polite response, feeling a deepening sense of unease which went beyond mere discomfort with such fineries. As she picked at her food, Crake discussed his business, which had apparently been booming.

"...And what with the growing tensions between the Alliance and the Imperial forces, there has been a significant increase in demand for the particular brand of services that I offer." Placing his fork down next to his plate, Crake dabbed his mouth with a napkin, catching her with a sharp gaze. "Now, Liana, you must tell me, what has brought you here to Tatooine? The last I had heard, you had just begun serving a twenty-year sentence on Wobani."

"I was… pardoned." Part-way through mentally calculating the rest of her explanation, something clicked into place in her mind and Jyn looked up, suddenly suspicious. "How did you know about that?"

Crake shrugged, flashing her a cold smile. "I heard that you had been apprehended on Corulag. It's a shame the Imperials had built up such a detailed case against you."

"You... Were you _involved_?" Slamming her palms down on the table, she rose from her seat, seething.

Crake shrugged innocently, completely unruffled by her outburst. "Why, not directly, of course. I had perhaps passed along some evidence of your - shall we say - _exploits_ , to the Empire, in my own personal attempt to locate you myself to reclaim some of the financial loss incurred after you failed me so spectacularly." A smug smile settled on his face. "But, no matter - what is done is done! And what good fortune for you, to have received a full pardon so early into your sentence." At this, his smile faded and he crossed his arms, his eyes contemplating.

Seeing movement out of the corner of her eye, Jyn consciously forced herself to sit back down, knowing full well that guards were stationed just behind the door. Whatever harm she'd like to do to Crake wasn't worth it, especially considering she needed to stay in his good graces long enough for Cassian to heal. "Of course you are right." Struggling to keep her features straight, she forced a false smile to her lips. "Thank you again for overlooking that unfortunate event. I plan to fully compensate you for your generosity and the use of your medical facility, of course."

He nodded magnanimously, and his attention returned to his dinner. The silence stretched thick between them, and Jyn dropped her gaze, pushing an unknown vegetable around the plate with her fork. Realizing how silly she probably looked, she stabbed the offending vegetable, bringing it to her mouth and chewing slowly.

"I imagine you wouldn't know anything about the Imperial destroyer that appeared over Tatooine so unexpectedly, would you?"

Crake's tone was so nonchalant that it took several moments for Jyn to process what he had said. She nearly choked on her food, putting down the fork as she coughed into her napkin. "An Imperial destroyer?" Her mind racing, she dropped her gaze to her plate so that Crake could not see the concerns that she knew were being openly broadcast on her face. "Obviously, I don't have a pleasant past with the Imperial army." Her emotions finally under better control, she raised her head and met Crake's gaze, shrugging in what she hoped was an unperturbed manner. "I have no idea why they are here."

"Neither do my sources. It is quite the mystery. It appears as though there may have been a battle with an Alliance starship, although it has been a challenge to get accurate information to confirm this." Crake folded his hands and leaned his elbows on the table, appraising her. For her part, she struggled to keep her features straight, her mind racing. After an uncomfortably long moment, he broke their stare, taking a measured drink from his wine glass. "Well, no matter. Hopefully they will soon be on their way, and business will carry on uninterrupted. Speaking of which, I imagine you will be looking for some employment to cover your client's medical fees? The fees are quite costly, as I am sure you can imagine."

Forcing the anxious thought of Imperial soldiers breaking down the door to find the medical clinic and Cassian far from her mind, Jyn brought herself back to the present conversation. "Yes, of course. I've lined up a few jobs already - payment shouldn't be a problem."

"If I could interest you, I also have an employment opportunity available, and I guarantee it offers far better compensation than you can find anywhere else." His eyes shone darkly as he observed her.

Jyn shook her head firmly. "I'd rather not. I should be able to manage just fine if you give some time to gather the funds. I plan to leave Tatooine as soon as my client has recovered."

Crake shrugged impassively. "As you wish. The job is available, whenever you want it."

* * *

Jyn kept her attention sharp as her escort brought her home and accompanied her to the door, listening carefully to the retreating footsteps of her guards until she was certain they were gone. Leaning heavily against the door, her breath escaped her with a loud _whoosh_ as she brushed stray bits of hair from her eyes.

The evening had been more challenging than she could have imagined, and keeping her guard up for so long running on so little sleep had left her feeling drained and exhausted. Stumbling tiredly to her bed, she paused only once to quickly check that the bag containing the weapons was still where she had left it. Pulling it out from under the bed, she paused with her hand hovering over the vibrodagger before selecting Cassian's blaster pistol and placing it next to her pillow. This time she remembered to turn off the lights before collapsing on the bed, images of Imperial star destroyers and Crake's cold, serpentine smile playing disturbingly in her mind.

Jyn dreamed.

* * *

She is standing outside their family home in Lah'mu, the skies dark and turbulent above her. Everything is just as she remembered it - the dark, rich volcanic soil; hills covered with grass that grows knee-high; the craggy, newly-formed mountains. She inhales deeply, filling her lungs, and the air is fresh, smelling of rain and dirt and grass. It smells of _home_.

 _Jyn, my daughter._

She spins around, her heart soaring. "Father!"

Her father stands before her, arms outstretched as if to embrace her… but everything is wrong. He is bleeding from the wounds caused by the Rebel's assault on Eadu, wounds which had ended his life. She had failed; she couldn't saved him. His eyes are dark and full of pain.

 _Everything I do, I do it to protect you..._

"Pappa!" Her breath catches in her throat. She tries to go to him, but her body is frozen in place - she cannot move.

 _Jyn._

She pivots as she hears the voice of her mother, tears stinging her eyes. Lyra Erso stands behind her, as beautiful as the day she had placed her kyber crystal necklace around Jyn's neck and told her to run. Her dark eyes are fierce, accusing, her hands clutching at the bloody wound which had ended her life.

 _How could you let them win?_

"Mamma… I'm sorry…" She cannot stop the tears as they stream down her cheeks, and she closes her eyes, falling to the ground and clutching her knees tight against her abdomen. She is a child again, unable to save her parents, unable to stop the Empire from murdering her mother and seizing her father. Despite her closed her eyes, she can see them bright against her clenched eyelids, their imploring figures etched in her mind. "I'm sorry…."

 _Jyn._

The accented voice cuts to her core. It is so familiar - _she wants so badly just to see him again_ \- but she is too terrified to look, afraid to open her eyes. " _Cassian,"_ she breathes. Against her will, she looks up to face the captain, dread battling against the aching desire just to see him.

Cassian's face is pinched, the agony of her betrayal painfully visible in his eyes. He is bleeding out; he is dying.

 _The Death Star plans. You were supposed to end it._ Whatever strength she had left fails her as Cassian denounces her, each word burning like a twisting knife in her gut. _We sacrificed everything for you - we followed where you led. We believed in you..._

She closes her eyes, unable to withstand the accusation in his eyes. "I tried…"

 _You could have brought us a new hope…_ Lyra is speaking now, her bloodstained hands extended, imploring.

 _The Rebellion will perish. Everything I fought for - it was all for nothing._ Each word that Cassian speaks is a damning indictment of all her failures.

It is her father's words that cut the deepest, his words which drive her to the edge. _All those years, hoping, praying to see you again. My Stardust._ Her eyes fly open at the sound of her nickname, her heart breaking. She gazes helplessly at her father as he extends his finger towards her, condemning her. _How you have failed me._

Jyn throws her head back to the dark skies, howling in shame.

* * *

It was too dark.

Jyn awoke, jerking upright, drenched in sweat and gulping desperately for air. _Why was it so dark?!_ Suddenly she was a child again, trapped underground and crouched at the bottom of that dark shaft with only the light of a flickering lantern to keep her sane. The air was too close; she felt trapped.

She couldn't breathe.

Gasping, she tried to get out of bed, but she was tangled and trapped in the sheets and couldn't extricate herself. _Trapped!_ Mindless in her panic, she hurled her body across the floor, the blanket falling to the floor behind her as she scrambled desperately to turn on the light.

As the blessed light filled the room, Jyn gasped, gulping desperately for breath as she sank to her knees on the floor. Anchoring her hands flat on the cool floor, she shook as a silent sob wracked her frame, the images from her nightmare played out vividly in her mind. _All dead. All my fault. All my fault!_

She forced herself to her feet, her knees trembling and threatening to buckle. She needed to see him: she needed to know that he was alive.

* * *

Ignoring the droid, which began protesting as soon as she opened the door, Jyn stumbled forward with the desperation of a parched man in the desert grasping for water. She stood in front of the bacta tank, chest heaving, as she gazed upward.

He was alive, blessedly alive, and unconscious. Jyn placed her hand on the cool glass of the bacta tank, watching the rise and fall of Cassian's chest as he breathed into the mask which fed him oxygen. _He was alive._

Time passed.

She was distantly aware that the droid had again deactivated itself, having eventually ceased its lecturing and abandoning its efforts to get her to leave. When the aching in her foot finally became a throbbing pain she turned around, her back against the tank as she slid to the floor. Drawing up her knees, she rested her chin on them as she stared absently at the empty medical facility, distinctly aware of the coolness of the tank on her spine.

She never intended to fall asleep like that, but her exhaustion finally claimed her, and Jyn slept restlessly until morning.

* * *

Jyn woke with a stiff neck and an aching spine. Arching her back with a groan, it took several moments for the events of the past day to come flooding back to her. The Death Star plans - the escape from Scarif - landing on Tatooine, with Cassian desperately injured - an evening with Crake - an Imperial destroyer - that awful nightmare - and finally, falling asleep with her back propped against the bacta tank. She blinked, rubbing her eyes as she stood up with a groan, feeling slightly ashamed of the irrational fear that had overwhelmed her in the dark.

The medical droid was unimpressed that she had taken the liberty of spending the night in the medical clinic, and did not hesitate to inform her so. Forcing back a yawn, she ignored the complaints. "When will his treatment be finished?"

If the droid could have sighed in irritation, this one would have. "The patient's vital signs have stabilized, and all superficial damage has healed. The internal damage and trauma to the cranium require more time for complete repair. Bacta tank treatment is estimated to be complete later this afternoon. The patient will then require approximately another twelve hours after discharge from the bacta tank before he regains full consciousness."

Jyn frowned. She would like to be off-planet as soon as possible, but she supposed it couldn't be helped. And if there really was an Imperial destroyer hovering out of sight above the skies of Tatooine, maybe a longer stay wouldn't be such a bad idea, after all.

Running a hand through her disheveled hair, she thanked the droid before leaving, returning to her quarters. Pulling another ration from her supply bag, she munched on it while she waited for the computer to boot up, focusing her thoughts on the day ahead - anything to avoid ruminating on her dream from the night before. She hadn't experienced such an intense, senseless fear since she was a child. What had caused the dark to suddenly start feeling so terrifyingly oppressive?

She knew the answer, of course. It had all started - _or ended_ \- with Scarif. Her stomach twisted as she thought of Bodhi, Chirrut, Baze, K-2SO and the crew of Alliance soldiers she had led to Scarif. They were gone _because of her._

Shaking her head to force such painful thoughts away, she focused her thoughts on the day ahead. Taking a few moments to apply more bacta fluid to her ankle, she re-wrapped the bandage tightly, marveling at how her foot already felt significantly better. Checking her messages from the day before, she frowned to see that only one of her offers had been responded to affirmatively. The unpleasant feeling intensified as she accessed the network, only to discover that it had virtually fallen silent.

An _Imperial destroyer will do that, I suppose._ She let out sigh, running through the predicament in her mind. The only place it led back to - accepting Crake's offer - brought her no pleasure.

Turning her attention to her first and only assignment to distract herself, she noted that it was a simple enough task which involved forging of transfer documents. It would only take her a few hours to complete. Resigning herself to the fact that she had no other choice, she first sent an encrypted message to her new employer, setting a time and place to meet and exchange the documents for her payment, before dispatching a note to Crake.

Then she got to work.

* * *

So by my calculations, Jyn's first day on Tatooine correlates with the same day that R2 and C-3PO land in their escape pod and get taken by the Jawas. That leaves two more days before Luke & Co. escape on the _Falcon_ \- one day where Luke's uncle buys the droids and R2 takes off, the next day where Luke chases after the droid, meets Obi Wan, and they travel to Mos Eisley. At least I think. Watching through the old movies sure does point out some continuity issues…. :)

Some further research on bacta tanks led me to the conclusion that an average bacta tank treatment is about twelve hours, so that is what I went with. Apparently, a patient requires a long rest period after the treatment to recover strength. Luckily, that fits conveniently within the timeline I had originally planned!

Thank you for those who left such kind reviews! I read each one and they really make my day! And if you are wondering what the heck is happening with Cassian, do not fear! We will see him again in the next chapter!


	5. A wretched hive of scum and villainy

I am shocked by how time consuming writing can be. I have new respect for why it takes George R.R. Martin so long to come out with new novels in the GoT series… While this is by no means up to _that_ standard, I hope you enjoy nonetheless!

* * *

 **Chapter five: a wretched hive of scum and villainy**

 _None of us knows what might happen even the next minute, yet still we go forward. Because we trust. Because we have faith._

 _\- Paulo Coelho, Brida_

* * *

Tatooine's twin suns had reached their zenith in the sky by the time Jyn began to make her way back home, pleased with the knowledge that her virtual wallet was now several thousand credits heavier. Pausing under a shaded awning to wipe the sweat from her forehead, she glanced out into the crowded street, and tried not to be bothered by the fact that she seemed to be sweating _everywhere_.

Catching sight of two telltale white helmets weaving through the crowded street ahead of her, Jyn suddenly froze, and had to remind herself to breathe. Glancing to her left, she slipped furtively into an alleyway, mentally re-calculating her new route home as she walked. This was the second pair of sandtroopers she'd seen this morning, and their presence in Mos Eisley worried at the edges of her mind.

A message was waiting on the computer for her when she returned. Opening the file, she let out a sigh of relief when she saw that it contained no personal words from Crake. It simply outlined the job: find and apprehend one Cornelius Evazan. Jyn did not envy her target - whatever he had done to make Crake seek him out, she wanted no part of. "Aliases include Dr Evazan, Roofoo…" Pulling up the image of her target, she frowned at the disfigured face, trying to place where she had seen the distinctive face before...

* * *

The rest of her day was spent probing Mos Eisley's seedier establishments in an effort to discover which businesses her target was known to frequent. The city's thriving criminal underbelly had nurtured a vast network of disreputable bars and shops, all keen to provide a steady supply of contraband weapons and alcohol for those wishing to avoid Imperial scrutiny. The silence on the digital network had forced her to rely on more traditional means of tracking down a person who did not wish to be found. For Jyn, this meant that her search was dominated by interrogating sullen bartenders and shopkeepers, occasionally resorting to threats of force whenever her first attempt at flattery failed to get the information she needed.

As the day wore on, she found her search further frustrated by having to increasingly rely on detours in order to avoid Imperial patrols. She tried to stifle the anxiety that welled up every time she saw the white helmet of a sandtrooper, but when it eventually became evident that they were not searching for escaped Rebels, she allowed herself a sense of cautious relief. Evidently, neither the wreckage of their commandeered Imperial vessel or the two Alliance soldiers she had parted with yesterday had yet been discovered.

Ducking into another doorway to avoid the attention of two sandtroopers who were making their way down the same street, she paused and waited until she was certain they had passed. Why would the Empire expend this much effort to recover two lost droids? A thought tugged at the corner of her mind - _did the plans make it to Yavin 4?_ \- before she pushed it forcefully aside. "Stop wasting time, Erso," she muttered to herself.

And with that, her search for Cornelius Evazan continued.

* * *

Evening found Jyn dusty and feeling drained as she trudged back home, armed with nothing more than the name of the establishment where she planned to start her search in the morning: Chalmun's Cantina. At least the day hadn't been a complete waste of her time: in addition to being a likely place to find Evazan, this cantina might also be a good place to find a pilot to get her and Cassian off this forsaken rock.

Her fatigue slid away as soon as she stepped inside and realized how late it was. _Cassian should be out of the bacta tank!_

Taking the stairs two at a time, she tried to remember to be careful with her ankle despite her excitement. Entering the clinic, she noticed immediately that the bacta tank was empty. Walking up to the sleeping captain's side, her breath caught in her throat as she came level with the surgical bed.

 _He could sure use a shave.._. She reached forward tentatively to touch his bare shoulder, her face locked onto his as Jyn felt the tightness that she had been carrying in her chest for the past day finally dislodge. She didn't really care about the facial hair, either.

Somehow, being able to actually _touch him_ finally crystallized it - Cassian was alive. His skin felt deliciously warm under her palm. Trailing her fingers down his chest, she paused with her hand hovering what was left of the wound that she had hastily treated during their escape from Scarif. The skin over the healed injury was tight and new, and she marvelled that it had healed without scarring.

Tearing her gaze from Cassian's chest, she studied his resting face, taking comfort in the steady rise and fall of his chest under her hand. She felt like they had known each other for years, although logic coldly informed her it had been only days. And most of the time they had spent together seemed to have been either fighting and running for their lives, or covertly sneaking through Imperial strongholds under the shadowy fear of discovery and death. Sleeping as he was, Jyn took the time to observe that while he was resting, Cassian's face looked lighter, less burdened by the guilt and the strain that he seemed to carry with him wherever he went.

 _Suddenly the Rebellion is real for you. Some of us live it. I've been in this fight since I was six years old._

The memory reverberated in her mind, and she could still hear the same anger - the same desperation - in his words. What had Cassian lost, to give him no choice? _Only six years old!_ Reaching forward to brush a stray lock of hair from his face, she found herself suddenly battling the same emotion that had overwhelmed her in the elevator of the Citadel Tower on Scarif. The foreign sensation both thrilled and terrified her. She couldn't rationalize the way her heart beat madly in her chest.

When had the sight of him started to make her feel this way?

She certainly hadn't felt so strongly about the Rebel forces captain when they had first met. Or at least, any impression she had formed of him was not a flattering one. As a matter of fact, she had made up her mind almost immediately that he was no different than the rest of the Alliance uniforms: unquestioning in following every order, and blind to whatever collateral damage or destruction was left in the wake of the Alliance's self-righteous cause against the Empire. Cassian would execute the mission, whatever the cost. Or at least, that was who she'd pegged him to be.

Keeping Cassian fixed into that rigidly formed first impression of the committed soldier had been impossible after Eadu. She had been right about some things, of course. He _was_ trapped by duty; so blinded by the mission that he saw only what must be done to reach his goal.

But she knew now that her first impression of the Rebel intelligence officer had failed to capture the whole picture. He wasn't blind to his victims. Nor was he indifferent to the destruction his acts had wrought. Instead, Cassian carried the weight of each victim on his shoulders, as if somehow that could atone for the harm he had done in the name of the Alliance.

He had defied a direct order to assassinate her father. He had risked his life to go and find her and drag her from her father's still-warm body. He had endured her verbal assault, and even if some of the things she had said were justified, _he_ hadn't been wrong about her, either. She had been in shock, and she _was_ looking for someone to blame for tearing away the first hope for happiness that she had felt in years. Seeing her father had suddenly revived a desire that she had harboured so deeply for all those lonely years that she had not even known it existed it until that moment: a desperate hope that her father _was_ the man that she remembered, the one who named her Stardust.

And then her father was gone, and even though she knew it wasn't his fault, Cassian was an easy target fixed in front of her, dripping wet from the storm and unflinching as he endured every hurt and betrayal that she hurled his way. She hadn't cared at the time, but now as she thought back to that night, Jyn remembered how his gaze had held hers, how his eyes had been dark and full of sorrow.

As it turned out, the rebel who wanted nothing more than to keep her head down and avoid the entangled politics of the war between the Empire and the Rebel cause had more in common with the duty-bound captain than she could have imagined.

"Physical rehabilitation was successful." Jyn started at the droid's mechanical voice, so caught up in her own thoughts that she had not heard its approach. "Further rest is required. The patient is unlikely to wake until tomorrow. A full physical recovery is expected."

Jyn nodded, blinking back the sudden dampness which threatened her vision, her eyes drinking in Cassian's sleeping face. "I cannot thank you enough for all that you've done." Despite her best efforts to act stoic, she couldn't keep the jubilant smile from her lips as she turned to face the droid. "Thank you."

If the droid responded to her praise, she didn't hear it. Her mind was already spinning in a hundred different directions, and she couldn't contain the feeling of lightness that she radiated from within.

This was going to work.

* * *

After showering, Jyn checked in on Cassian one last time, carrying down a bag which contained the clothing she had bought to replace the bloody ones the droid had destroyed after removing them the day before. After some consideration, she had placed Cassian's pistol into the bag as well, folding it carefully in his shirt. Once in the clinic, she looked critically at Cassian's boots. They looked like they had seen better days, but they would have to do for now. She needed to be careful with how many credits she spent, and she had kept her own as well. She handed the bag to the droid with instructions to give it to Cassian, then went to check on the patient.

She paused over his sleeping form, lightly taking his hand in hers. "Sleep well, captain." Feeling a little foolish, she squeezed his hand once before letting it go, flustered by the sudden racing of her pulse and the irrational disappointment that filled her when her hand left his.

She checked on her ankle, reapplying a light layer of bacta fluid, before wrapping it again. This time, she left the lights in her room turned on before Jyn fell into a deep and exhausted sleep.

* * *

For the second night, nightmares plagued her dreams.

Jyn started awake, her skin clammy and her body shaking. This time, it had been Bodhi, Chirrut and Baze who had confronted her, Bodhi's eyes gaunt and imploring as they bored into her. She sat up in bed, taking several deep breaths as she waited for the shaking in her hands to subside. She felt grateful that at least this time, she had not awoken to the suffocating darkness.

Closing her eyes, she hoped the gesture would erase the images that plagued her, but instead it only revived images of a bloodied Chirrut and Baze from her dream as they were projected onto her closed eyelids. _Good luck, little sister._ Snapping her eyes open, she brought her fist to her mouth as she fought back a choking sob.

She knew what this was - she had seen it countless times in her years fighting amongst Saw Guerrera's rebels. She had seen some of the fiercest soldiers fall victim to the anxiety and withdrawal induced by the guilt of surviving when friends had not. Logically, she recognized that that she must be suffering from the same condition.

The knowledge that her haunting nightmares were a product of a disturbed mind trying to come to grips with the deaths of her friends was a cold comfort. Nothing would bring them back. The aching remorse that plagued her seemed trivial in comparison to what had befallen them - after all, she was alive. Guilt was the burden to be borne by those who survived.

She waited until her breathing returned to a normal rhythm and her clammy skin dried, staring ahead blankly as all her failures - everything she should have done differently - played out in her mind. Lying back on the bed, her mind raced through countless different possibilities of what could and should have been, and Jyn eventually drifted back into a troubled slumber.

* * *

She awoke feeling tired and irritable. She swallowed down her breakfast, the ration tasteless in her mouth as she hurriedly pulled on her boots and tucked the vibrodagger securely down the shaft of her right boot. Standing, she slid the baton into her belt, shoving the newly purchased blaster pistol into the holster at her hip. Splashing some water on her face, she pulled her hair back before heading downstairs to visit Cassian.

As soon as the door opened, Jyn knew something was wrong. Her blaster was halfway out of its holster when she froze at the sound of Crake's voice.

"Now, now, let's just relax, Liana." As he stepped toward her, the two guards behind Crake cocked their blaster rifles, making it clear that they had her within their sights and would not hesitate to fire.

Scowling, she released her grip on the pistol, begrudgingly holding up her empty hands. "What is the meaning of this?" She spat out. "Where is my client?"

"There is nothing to fear. He is still resting, and healthy as can be. We simply moved him to a different location." At this Crake shrugged, his eyes cold as they stayed locked on her. "Surely you can understand my hesitation to trust you a second time without some collateral of my own. Rest assured, he will be released the moment your task is complete."

Jyn glared at him suspiciously, anger coursing through her. She had been too complacent - she _knew_ that Crake couldn't be trusted. "And how do I know that he's safe and will be set free once I finish the job?"

Crake feigned a wounded look. "Come now, Liana. I am a man of my word. I promise you, on my honor, that your companion will be released the moment your target is in my custody."

Crake had her cornered, and they both knew it. It required significant discipline for Jyn to appear relaxed as she nodded. "Very well. I think I know where to find your man. How do I bring him to you?"

Crake's guards kept their weapons levelled toward her as the businessman stepped forward to hand her a comlink. "Simply send a message when you have him contained. My men will arrive to transport him, and your friend will be freed in exchange, quid pro quo."

He hadn't left her much of a choice. Submitting to his terms would be safer for Cassian than trying to figure out where he was being held and attempting to storm the location on her own to free him. She grit her teeth together. "Fine. You can expect to hear from me soon."

She tried to ignore the chill she felt at Crake's smile as he spoke. "I am counting on it."

* * *

Chalmun's Cantina was a dive. Jyn gave the rundown interior of the bar an appraising look as she ducked into the dimly lit canteen, moving to grab a seat at one of the stools at the bar. She flagged the bartender and ordered a drink, her eyes scanning the patrons, noticing more than one unsavory-looking character. Paying for her drink, she kept her eyes lowered as she surreptitiously continued her search. The place was busy, especially considering it was still fairly early in the day.

"Hey beautiful, can I buyyoua drink?"

Her hand slipped down to the baton at her waist as she inclined her head to see who had made the unsolicited offer. It was a Twi'lek, and sound of his slurred speech and the smell of his breath, he was piss drunk. "No. Thanks."

The Twi'lek leaned in, then apparently thought better of it on catching sight of her murderous glare. That, or he had finally noticed her tight grip on the baton at her side. "Fine, fine, whatever…" Seeming entirely unperturbed by her rejection, he stumbled off to a nearby booth and gestured wildly for another drink.

After that minor confrontation, she was left mercifully alone to nurse her drink in solitude and to examine the patrons more closely. After an initial search revealed that her target was not here, she caught the bartender's attention and began to casually inquire about freighter pilots.

The bartender motioned to the back of the bar, where a human pilot was sitting in a booth with a Wookiee. She glanced at the pilot and his companion furtively, intrigued by the barkeep's assurances that he was _fast_ , as she critically sized him up. After a few moments, she shook her head. She needed discretion more than speed, and she didn't like the cocky look of the pilot. With a shrug, the bartender motioned to another man, and after a long appraising look, she nodded. He looked more promising.

Thanking the bartender, she ordered another drink and approached the human male sitting alone in a booth near the front of the bar. "Are you BoShek?"

The man grunted an affirmative, and she slid into the booth across from him, pushing the drink towards him. "I'm looking for a ship to take me off-world."

"I have a ship, but I only take passengers who pay upfront."

Jyn pursed her lips together in displeasure. "Two passengers, actually. I'll pay half now, and half once you get us there."

BoShek frowned, taking a measured sip from the drink as he stared at her, albeit without any hostility. "Which is where?"

"Taris." She didn't dare commission a ship all the way to Yavin 4, but Taris was a busy ecumenopolis not far from Yavin. She was certain that Cassian could contact the Alliance and arrange transport once they got there, and seeking passage to such a heavily populated planet shouldn't raise too many questions.

"Taris, eh?" BoShek's voice was slow and deliberate as he spoke. "That is a long way to go. Cargo?"

Jyn shook her head. "Just two passengers. We'd like to leave tomorrow, if possible."

BoShek grunted and leaned back into the seat. "That is fine with me. I have commissioned some cargo bound for Denon, which as I am sure you know is about half way to Taris. Five thousand credits."

She snorted. "You must be joking. Twenty-five hundred, and that's being generous."

"Thirty-five hundred, and I can be ready to leave first thing tomorrow."

Jyn quickly tallied the numbers in her head. Her credits would stretch just far enough - presuming they didn't need to eat much on the journey. "Deal." She held out her hand.

They shook hands. "I can transfer half the payment right away. You'll get the rest once we reach Taris."

"Fair enough. I'll wait here for you, then. Don't be too long."

Jyn nodded, rising from her seat. A quick scan of the bar revealed that her target, who apparently went by the name Roofoo in these parts, had yet to show his face.

Stepping out into the scorching heat outside, she shaded her eyes as she looked out onto the street. Seeing no sign of either her quarry or the white helmets of Imperial sandtroopers, she left the bar to arrange the transfer of the necessary funds, feeling a small twinge of loss as the balance in her accounts dipped.

* * *

Tatooine's twin suns were higher in the sky when Jyn returned to the cantina, and she was pleased to note that despite the fact that the cantina had gotten busier in her absence, BoShek was still seated in the same booth as he'd been when she had left. She sat down across from him, sliding the credit chips across the table. As she waited for the pilot to count the credits, she took a moment to scrutinize the patrons of the bar, vainly trying to drown out the band's too-loud performance as she searched. She still saw no sign of her quarry.

Satisfied with her payment, BoShek stood to leave. "This is good. I'll be waiting for you tomorrow. My ship is at docking bay forty-six."

"Forty-six. I'll remember."

With a nod, BoShek left her alone in the booth. Not wanting to invite any further conversations, Jyn stood and made her way back to the bar, sitting down to order another drink.

Sipping on the drink, Jyn waited for her target to show himself, repeating the number forty-six over in her mind to ensure she would not forget.

Two more slowly sipped drinks passed as Jyn waited at the bar, her impatience gradually giving way to anxiety as the hours passed. _What if he didn't show?_ She didn't trust Crake with Cassian's safety, and she didn't want to stay on Tatooine any longer than necessity required.

Lifting her eyes from her drink, her gaze skimmed distractedly past a sandy-haired youth who had settled himself at the other end of the bar while she was brooding. Jyn paused, appraising him more closely. His garb clearly identified him as an outsider to Mos Eisley, and in this seedy bar he stuck out like a sore thumb. _He looks like a moisture farmer… what is he doing here?_

Before she could muse any further on the circumstances that would bring such an innocent looking youth to a bar like this, raised voices caught her attention.

" _Negola dewaghi wool dugger?_ "

"He doesn't like you."

Recognizing the inherent violence underlying the spoken words, Jyn craned her head over the patrons that blocked her to get a better look. She immediately noticed that the farm boy hadn't just stood out to her - he had caught the attention of a male Aqualish and a human with an unmistakably disfigured face.

With a sudden flood of recognition, Jyn knew why her quarry had seemed so familiar: she had seen him before, having bumped into the same two men in the crowded streets of Jedha. _He'd been an asshole_ , she recalled with a frown. Some men looked for a fight no matter where they went. Her lips curled downward in distaste as she realized they had chosen the most defenseless-looking person in the bar as their victim.

The youth shrugged, keeping his eyes averted as he studiously tried to avoid any trouble. "I'm sorry."

Roofoo grabbed the youth by the shoulder, forcing a confrontation. "I don't like you, either. You just watch yourself. We're wanted men." At this, Roofoo jabbed at the young man with a pointed finger. "I have the death sentence on twelve systems!"

Clearly trying to extricate himself from the situation, the youth turned away from Roofoo and stared hard into his drink. "I'll be careful."

Looking to start a fight, Roofoo grabbed the young man by the arm, forcing him back around. Jyn rose part way from her seat, grabbing for her baton as she sensed the impending violence. "You'll be dead!"

Before the situation could escalate further, an old man stepped forward, placing a hand on Roofoo's arm as he interjected. "This little one's not worth the effort. Come, let me get you something."

Roofoo didn't take the chance that was offered, instead grabbing the boy with a violent yell as he pushed him across the room. The sandy-haired youth fell hard against a table, knocking over a few drinks in the process. Jyn saw a blaster rifle being brandished, quick as a flash, and moved to intervene.

A distinctive sound alerted her to the fact that the old man was armed, and she stopped suddenly, her eyes widening in awe. The blue light shone bright from his lightsaber as the old man swung the sword down with the practiced ease of a veteran who had done so thousands of times before.

The Aqualish screamed out in pain as the weapon contacted his arm, the pure energy of the blade severing the limb from his body like a knife cutting through butter. Jyn became suddenly aware that the band had stopped playing, and that she wasn't the only one crouched at the ready with a weapon brandished. She had the feeling that this situation could escalate to something very violent.

Roofoo and his unfortunate Aqualish companion groaned with pain as the old man glanced around with a measured look before he powered down his weapon. The silence stretched uncomfortably for a long moment. Almost as one, the patrons turned studiously back to their own drinks. The band resumed playing.

She watched the man help the boy up and lead him toward a booth in the back of the cantina, her mind abuzz. _That was a lightsaber - the weapon of a Jedi knight!_ The kyber crystal hanging from her neck felt warm as she gripped it tightly.

The urge to follow them burned in her strongly, but just a quickly she was struck by an immediately sobering thought.

 _Focus on your mission, Erso - think of Cassian!_

Looking up, she just caught sight of the two men as they stumbled out of the bar. Glancing around carefully, Jyn checked to see that she wasn't followed as she exited the cantina after them.

* * *

Jyn trailed the two figures as they floundered bleeding from the bar and out into the street. Her target was supporting the injured Aqualish with a hand around his waist, and they moved with painful slowness. She knew they didn't have much time - they were basically sitting targets, moving this slowly. Shadowing them as they ducked down an alleyway, her eyes scanned quickly for Imperial sandtroopers. Seeing none, she took her chance and made her move, silently approaching the human and the injured Aqualish from behind.

She struck her target first with the baton, immobilizing Roofoo as she swung the weapon back around to crack it down hard on the skull of the Aqualish who had immediately started to wail as his companion crumbled to the ground. Taking a quick look around, Jyn let out a small sigh of relief when she still saw no one.

Grabbing her target under his armpits, she hauled him into nearby doorway, forcing it ajar and cursing at his weight and the heat. Wiping the sweat from her forehead, she did the same with the injured Aqualish. Once they were out of sight, she took a moment to catch her breath, panting from the effort and the sweltering heat, before pulling the comlink from her pocket and informing the voice on the other end of her location.

And now there was nothing to do but wait. Jyn squatted down on the packed earth, staring guiltily at the Aqualish's injured arm. After a moment's hesitation, she rose with a grumble, pulling out her vibrodagger to cut strips of fabric from his shirt as she used them to bind his arm.

Hearing the hum of a speeder's repulsorlift engine, she rose, tucking the vibrodagger back into its concealed location in her boot before she went to greet the two men who had stepped out of the craft to meet her. "He's right over here."

Jyn turned to lead them to where she had hidden the two unconscious men, feeling anxious to get this ordeal over with. Crake's men moved to follow her.

When she felt the sharp prick on the back of her neck, Jyn knew that she had been duped.

Worse, she knew she had brought it on herself by turning her back to Crake's men. Whether from the suffocating heat, her constant worrying, or the bone-numbing exhaustion caused by lack of sleep, she had dropped her guard. With a sense of deepening panic, she began to feel the effect of the sedative on her muscles. Someone grabbed her by the arm and she whipped around, lashing at him with her baton. She felt the metal connect with something hard; she thought she heard a howling curse, and another shout to _shut up and grab the bitch!_ \- but by then she was already losing control -

Jyn felt her knees hit the ground, and then she slipped into darkness and remembered no more.

* * *

A fun fact for you all! A ecumenopolis is a city so large that it covers the entire planet, like Coruscant.

Based on my star map, Taris is indeed vary close to Yavin 4.

I enjoyed writing this chapter - I hope you had fun reading it! I know I promised that Cassian would be awake in this one, but I got a little carried away. The next chapter will (for sure) feature him!

Thank you as always for reading and reviewing, and for supporting my creative process!


	6. Comes and goes in waves

Well I hope I didn't keep you all waiting too long! I would firstly like to thank the kind guest reviewer who pointed out the spelling mistakes in my last chapter. They have been corrected, and thank you for pointing them out! For those of you looking forward to hearing from Cassian, I hope I'm able to do his character justice. Please enjoy, and don't forget to review!

* * *

 **Chapter six: comes and goes in waves**

 _This one's for the lonely, the ones that seek and find_

 _Only to be let down time after time_

 _This one's for the torn down, the experts at the fall_

 _Come on friends get up now, you're not alone at all_

 _._

 _Greg Laswell - Comes and Goes_

* * *

Cassian could use a shave.

Bit by bit his awareness returned, and he tried to ignore the bristling itch of the stubble scratching at his face as his mind worked to sort out what had happened to him. He was laying on his back, the surface solid and hard beneath him, and he could tell from the lightness that permeated through his closed eyelids that wherever he was, it was well lit.

Trying to follow a single train of thought felt like wading through molasses. In an attempt to focus his scattered thoughts, Cassian started to concentrate on the small sounds that he could make out as they gradually began to resolve themselves around him. He could not hear the familiar hum of a starcraft's engines, but instead listened to the light whir of a fan and the soft purr of a temperature modulator. He could hear no voices. In fact, he heard no sounds of human activity at all.

 _Where the hell was he?_

Years of training and work as an intelligence officer asserted itself, the habits of a spy hardwired into his system. Laying still and regulating his breathing as though he still slept, he cracked open an eyelid, taking in his surroundings through folded lashes. The sight of bars where a door should be was a concern. As he lay still on the hard surface, Cassian worked through what limited information he had available, trying to form a more complete picture of the situation.

 _First_. He seemed to be uninjured. A troubling thought tugged at him from the recesses of his mind - a memory of stumbling with his bloody hand clutched tightly to his burning side; of him kneeling in the warm sand of a dying world; of Jyn screaming, begging him to _just stay_ -

 _Jyn!_

It took remarkable strength of will not to sit bolt upright, but in spite of the sudden panic which struck him, years of training could not be so easily sloughed away. Cassian let out a shallow breath, keeping his body still, feigning sleep.

 _Second_. He was alive. Clearly, he had made it off Scarif. Apparently, the damage he'd sustained had not been fatal. _But was she alive?_ Cassian suppressed the nagging thought with mechanical firmness. Unsubstantiated speculation of that sort was dangerous.

 _Third_. The mission had been a success: the plans had been sent. Or at least, they had achieved as much success as they could possibly have hoped for.

 _Kaytoo's voice, sounding strained (to Cassian's mind, at least), urging them over the gut-wrenching sounds of blaster fire - - climb!_

 _Clinging desperately to the data bank column in the Citadel, ducking to avoid blaster fire; reaching the sudden, dizzying realization that he would happily die for this woman._

 _Forcing himself to just get up and_ move _after falling from the column, overlooking the fact that his body was screaming at him not to. He didn't endure the pain - and blazes, did it hurt - to make sure that the mission was complete. No, he was driven only by a simple and senseless desire: he just wanted to see her again._

 _Green eyes staring up into his, now visible, now shadowed, illuminated and dimmed by the interchanging flashes of dark and light as they descended the column in the elevator. He marveled at the promise held in those slate green eyes…_

Cassian closed off that part of his consciousness, wilfully constructing a barrier in his mind to block out such troubling thoughts. Knowing that he could not afford to act on emotion, the intelligence officer put his mind back to the present task with military precision.

 _Fourth._ He was clearly someone's prisoner. Whatever had happened to him after the incident on the beach had not concluded with him back among the Alliance's forces on Yavin 4. Was he a prisoner of the Empire?

 _The screeching of metal and a ship's alarm nearly drowning out the shouts of panicked, disjointed voices. Salty, wet tears on his face - had she been crying?_

Cassian lay still as he fruitlessly attempted to piece together the disjointed memories, finally abandoning the effort. It was no use - they were too fragmented to be informative. He resumed his mental checklist.

 _Fifth._ The only way to find out where he was, and whose captive he was, was to get up and face whatever came next. _We'll take the next chance, and the next…_ He pushed away that voice, _her voice_. When had he let himself become so compromised?

The world spun precariously as he sat up - evidently, too quickly. Cassian's hand rose to his face, feeling weak and unstable as he fought off the dizzying sensation. He waited until the floor stopped moving him before pulling his legs over the side of the bed, beginning to feel more anchored as he sat with bare feet on the cool floor, his dark eyes searching the small space with practiced care.

He felt a small sense of triumph when his investigation revealed that he was certainly not in an Imperial prison cell. His searching eyes honed in on a woven bag propped up against the bed, not far from his feet. Reaching forward, he pulled the bag to himself, opening it to reveal nondescript clothing. Glancing down at his bare chest, he set to his first task: dressing.

The clothing fit suspiciously well, and while simple, was both sturdy and well-made. Pulling the shirt over his head, he paused as he felt a stretching sensation in his side and memories of his bloodied hand rushed back. His fingertips brushed over the tautly pulled skin of what should have been a blaster injury. The wound had healed without signs of scarring, a clear sign that had been done using sophisticated technology. Images of the green-eyed rebel rose unbidden in his mind, and again he had to push them forcefully away. There would be time enough for that later. Finding nothing else in the bag, Cassian placed it down on the floor next to him and after a moment noticed his boots resting against the side of the bed. He grabbed them, reaching to pull the first one on when a voice interrupted this action and he froze where he was.

"Ah, I am pleased to see that you've awoken."

With a silent rebuke for not having heard the door open, Cassian glanced up, his sharp eyes taking in the well-dressed figure who approached him on the other side of the bars.

"I trust you rested well?"

Cassian didn't answer, nor did he break the man's stare. The silence stretched out heavily between them as the two silently appraised each other.

Finally breaking their gaze, the stranger moved to examine the cuffs of his tailored shirtsleeve. "Well, it would appear that you have. I don't suppose you'd be willing to share with me how you managed to sustain such life-threatening injuries?"

Cassian's taciturn shrug was his only response. If his captor was irritated by this lackluster response, he did not show it. And despite the aloof appearance this stranger was projecting, the Rebel intelligence officer found he was disturbed by something he glimpsed beneath the disinterest that he observed: a disconcerting impression which cautioned him that every bored look, every indifferent shrug, was only calculated to appear that way. "Oddly enough, Ms. Hallik was just as reticent to discuss what had happened to you."

Cassian attempted without any success to identify this man, or to work out where _this_ _place_ even was. Then the name _Hallik_ jogged something in his mind. "Why am I here?"

"An excellent question. Do you even know where _here_ is?" At Cassian's blank look, the stranger shrugged. "I have been hosting you for the past few days in a medical clinic I operate in Mos Eisley. I'd assumed that Liana brought you because she'd botched another mission." He let out a short laugh. "She must have been pretty desperate to seek help from me."

Cassian frowned, his mind spinning. "And what is that supposed to mean?" A thought suddenly crystallized in his mind - _Liana Hallik was one of Jyn's aliases._ He remembered now that he had read it in her file, what felt like a lifetime ago. _And Mos Eisley_... that meant he was on Tatooine. They hadn't made it far from Scarif, then.

The man held up his hands as if to placate his prisoner. "Oh, nothing at all. Simply that Liana incurred expenses during your time with me, in addition to an outstanding debt which was unsettled." As he said this, Cassian caught a flash of something violent in the man's eyes. However, his voice remained level as he spoke. "I have sent her out on a job to settle that debt." Instinctively, Cassian knew that despite his polish and his smile, he could trust this businessman about as much as he'd trust a Hutt. He was troubled by the violence that he sensed lurking beneath his captor's carefully manicured look.

"And keeping me locked here, this is part of that job?" He could not keep the edge from his voice - he didn't like the feeling of being trapped behind locked bars. _There is more than one sort of prison, Captain. I sense that you carry yours wherever you go._ He pushed Chirrut's voice from his mind. _There is no time for this!_

"Come now. I am simply a businessman; a businessman who has learned through dealings with Ms. Hallik that it is wise to keep a measure of security, if only to guarantee that she follows through on her assignment." At this, the man moved to leave. "Believe me, once the package has been delivered and the job is complete, you will be free to go."

With that, the prisoner was left alone to his cell and his thoughts. Working back through the conversation with his captor, the situation began to resolve itself in his mind.

Cassian had a feeling that whatever had happened in the time he'd been unconscious, Jyn had gotten in over her head trying to manage it. He also had a nagging feeling that the thing that had forced her to engage in a contract with this man, it had something to do with the fact that he was quite sure that he should have bled out and died there on that beach. The look he had seen in his captor's eyes when he spoke of Liana had left him with the certainty that he could not count on simply being let go. He could not shake the feeling that wherever she was, Jyn was in trouble.

Reaching down, he pulled his worn boots toward him. A smile tugged at his lips as he pulled them on and discovered that through some stroke of luck, the security kit hidden inside his boot had not become dislodged in the chaos on Scarif. He began to feel his strength flow back to him as he tied the laces, his face settling into a mask of determination as he decided on his course of action.

Cassian had never liked the idea of being trapped behind bars.

 _Like hell I am staying here._

* * *

Jyn woke up with a pounding headache and a bitter taste in her mouth. She stayed still for a moment, breathing fast as her mind whirled, trying to piece together jagged memories in an attempt to determine _where the hell she was._

She reached a hand to wipe the sweat from her forehead - _why was it so bloody warm here_ \- and then like lightning it struck her - she was on Tatooine. She was on Tatooine, and she'd been working what should have been a simple job, except it had been anything but simple. It hadn't been simple because it was for Crake, and she knew better than to expect he would have let go. Crake didn't forget, and he obviously hadn't forgiven her having to recoup the cost after she had botched the mission on purpose and fled Tatooine, leaving an affronted Hutt slave-less in her wake.

She bit back a groan as she stretched her tense muscles, her senses registering that she was in a dimly lit cell, and most likely underground. The cell was cramped, and she slumped in a seated position with her back against a wall. Thankfully, she seemed to be largely unharmed. With a scowl, she also realized that her pistol and baton were gone, but reaching into her right boot, she felt a flush of triumph when her fingers connected with the hilt of the vibrodagger. The fools hadn't even taken the time to search her properly. Their oversight had given her the chance she needed.

Hearing the sound of footsteps, Jyn stiffened. She caught the rumbling sound of voices, which grew steadily louder as the footsteps neared. She crouched down in the cramped cell, closing her eyes and feigning sleep.

The speech became more distinct as the individuals neared, resolving into two - _or three?_ \- separate voices. They weren't speaking Basic, and she tried to suppress her frustration when she realized that she wasn't familiar with the dialect that they were using to communicate. She heard a whir as the door to the room slid open, peering out through slitted eyes to catch sight of her captors.

There was one Twi'lek, his reddish eyes unsettling in their contrast from his green-hued skin. And then there were two Gamorreans, clearly recognizable by their distinctive porcine snouts and round, armoured bodies. The Twi'lek was speaking low and fast to the Gamorreans, whose responses sounded to her ears only like incoherent grunts and squeals.

Jyn strained to listen, and stiffened when she caught a word that she recognized. Hearing the name _Hutt_ for a second time caused her to curse a silent stream of expletives in her mind. _Of course Crake would think of the most tortuous revenge possible._ The prick had sold _her_ off as a slave to Jabba!

She was going to kill him.

If she was going to kill Crake, she needed to get out of this bloody cell.

Jyn became aware that the Twi'lek was leaving, apparently satisfied that the Gamorreans would follow instructions. He strode past her cell and out of door. She eyed the vibro-axes swinging from the belts of her captors, surreptitiously slipping the vibrodagger from her boot up into her sleeve.

Her captors conversed with each other for several more moments (more grunts and squeals to her ears), before one stepped forward, slamming his axe handle against the bars of her cell to wake her. Jyn exaggeratedly let out a startled shout, sitting up more fully and opening her eyes to meet those of the Gamorrean facing her through the bars.

She watched his partner move to stand by the door as the Gamorrean slid the keycard into the lock, listened carefully for the clicking sound that would let her know when the door unlocked. She prayed silently for speed.

Her eyes stayed on the vibro-axe in the Gamorrean's hand as she darted forward, quick as a flash. Her captor hadn't expected her to move so quickly, and he certainly hadn't expected her to have a vibrodagger concealed up her sleeve. The Gamorrean was taller and stronger than her, but Saw Guerrera had trained her well. She was faster and smarter than her foe.

Her blade flashed out and she sliced down hard on the hairless forearm of the Gamorrean's weapon-wielding hand. With a squeal, he dropped the blade, and now she had the advantage. Jyn rolled forward and past him out the door, pivoting hard as she gathered her strength and with a shout shoved the startled guard in the back. The Gamorrean stumbled forward, clutching at his injured hand and fell forward straight into her cell. Quick as a flash, she swung the door shut and pulled out the keycard, dropping it to the floor as she spun to face her second opponent.

The second Gamorrean squealed in shock, moving to grab for his axe. Jyn didn't hesitate, dashing forward with her dagger held tightly to her as she sought a weakness in his armour. Their green skin was thick and tough, but the vibrodagger had cut through his companion's skin easily enough. Her calculation complete, she dove forward, blade flashing as she brought it swinging to slice at his exposed legs. The Gamorrean was slow, still clutching for his weapon as she rose, slashing at the belt which held his weapon as he fell forward to clutch at his knees. The weapon clattered to the floor as she brought the hilt of the dagger down hard on an area of his head which was unplated and exposed. Silenced, the second Gamorrean fell forward to the floor.

Panting for breath, she ignored the squealing of the guard who she'd left in the cell as she eyed the vibro-axe on the floor only for a brief moment. Deciding it was too heavy, she abandoned the weapon, opened the door and _ran_ , her panicked thoughts centered on a single goal: escape.

* * *

Breaking out of his cell had been a relatively simple matter. The security system had been uncomplicated, and it was clear to him that keeping him securely imprisoned had not been a particularly high priority for his captor. A quick search of the room had unearthed his Blas Tech A280-CFE modular blaster pistol, the familiar weapon comforting in his hand as he moved stealthily out of the prison block and began searching for a way out.

Cassian slowed his pace as he caught the sound of voices echoing in the corridor up ahead. Glancing around for a place to hide, he ducked into a nearby doorway, peering out cautiously to see two men heading his direction. Hastily he opened the door, breathing out in relief when it revealed only a dark and empty room. He quickly darted inside, leaving the door ajar as he hid in the shadows of the darkened room.

The two men walked past, one cradling an injured arm. "That bitch was a devil - how'd she get that weapon into her hands and move so fast after being drugged?"

"Well, it explains why Crake didn't want an open confrontation." The second man eyed his companion's injured arm, looking uncertain. "Either way, it's out of our hands now. But you should probably get that arm looked at."

"Good riddance," the injured man spat the words out venomously. "She got what was coming to her."

"Well, she'll sure as hell suffer enough soon. Word has it she's been sold to Jabba..."

The conversation was beginning to fade as the two moved away. "And what about the ugly-faced one?"

"Oh, him? I heard there was a bounty on his head - something about performing some crazy reconstruction surgeries and disfiguring his patients…"

For Cassian, several thoughts clicked into place almost simultaneously:

 _One:_ they were talking about Jyn.

 _Two:_ this "Crake" had sold her as a slave to Jabba the Hutt.

 _Three:_ when he was finished with them, these two would regret coming to work today.

Cassian slipped out of the darkness, quick and light on his feet as he slipped up behind the two men. The man cradling his arm fell with a shout, and by the time his companion realized what was happening he was face to face with a blaster pistol.

"Now, you are going to tell me, nice and detailed - _where is she_."

* * *

Her lungs were burning as Jyn sprinted, rounding a corner and yanking open what felt like the hundredth door that she had come to. Thankfully, this one opened to reveal cleaner air and blessed open sky. Part of her noted that evening had fallen, and that one of Tatooine's moons was shining overhead, full and bright. She never thought she would ever be so thrilled to see the squat buildings and desert sands of Tatooine.

"Stop right there!"

Her heart plummeting in her chest, Jyn froze, panting as she glared daggers at the guard whose blaster rifle was aimed at her chest. He wasn't more than three or four strides away. He seemed just as confused by the way she'd plummeted through the door like a missile as she'd been to open it and discover the night sky.

"Drop the weapon!"

Her body drawn tight like a spring, she worked through her options, and she didn't like the conclusion that she reached. He was too far away; he'd kill her before she could reach him with the vibrodagger. Growling in defeat, she moved to lower her weapon, her hands held out before her so that this idiot wouldn't get any more nervous than he already was and shoot her in the chest.

There was a sudden commotion to her left, and she heard shouting and blaster fire. The guard was only distracted for a brief moment, but that was all Jyn needed. She took the chance, darting forward with a shout and jamming the butt of her vibrodagger hard into the man's chest. He fell with a pained _oomph_ , and she brought the hilt down on the back of his head a second time for good measure, ensuring that he wouldn't get up again anytime soon.

She didn't know where she was, but from the way the buildings were crowded together and the way that the air smelled, she was fairly confident she was still in Mos Eisley. Wherever she was, she knew that she needed to get out of here, and fast. Taking off at a sprint, she rounded the first building ahead of her, losing traction as she skidded around the corner. Her eyes widened and she let out a startled cry as she realized too late that someone else was rounding the corner at the same time, heading straight toward her.

The two collided and Jyn was thrown to the ground, landing hard on her behind with a grunt. She was up in a flash, ignoring the pain from the fall and the way the panic bloomed in her chest - _she was not going back there!_ Her vibrodagger flashed in the moonlight as she swung it around in an attempt to take out her opponent before they could react. But he had reacted just as quickly and was already up, his pistol brandished as he aimed in her direction.

And then her eyes connected with brown ones, and it seemed as though time slowed. She knew those eyes - they had haunted her dreams. She gasped, her fingers loosening on her weapon as she froze, the dagger clattering to the ground. " _Cassian!_ "

He opened his mouth to respond, but before he could speak she had crossed the short distance between them and wrapped her arms around him, tears stinging at her eyes. Distantly, she scolded herself for grinning like a fool, but mostly she didn't care. Cassian was breathing and healthy and _he was right here_ and she didn't give a damn if she was crushing him so tightly that he couldn't breathe. After a moment, she became aware of how rigidly he stood in her embrace and she loosened her grip, taking a small step back and looking up into his eyes. She couldn't keep the smile from her lips. "I'm glad you're alright."

Cassian looked slightly flustered as he straightened his shirt. "Ah, yes... well. I am glad to see you too."

The reality of their current situation came rushing back to her. "Wait, what are you doing here?"

He looked nonplussed, focusing intently on dusting off the collar of his shirt as he shrugged. "I thought I was here to rescue you."

Jyn let out a bark of laughter, the sound dying in her throat as she saw Cassian's expression darken. She held up her hands in a conciliatory gesture. "No, no, I wasn't laughing at you!" He spun on his heel, heading decisively in the other direction. "Wait, Cassian!" Jogging to catch up with his quick pace, she grabbed his hand to stop him and he pivoted to face her, his look unreadable. "I'm sorry. I honestly wasn't laughing at you. It's just this situation, it's a little - ridiculous, you know?" Cassian was staring at her intently now, and she vehemently fought the flush that was rising to stain her cheeks. "I was just so worried about you. I thought you were going to die. And then all this happened, and I thought for sure I wouldn't see you again…" Unable to hold his gaze, she looked to the ground embarrassedly. "I'm just happy to see you, that's all."

Glancing up, Jyn thought she caught a bewildered look, but then again, perhaps the dark was just playing tricks on her. Whatever she thought she saw, the expression abruptly disappeared as the captain composed himself, and Jyn found she was now looking into the eyes of the Rebel Intelligence officer she'd first met on Yavin 4.

"Yes, well, we can talk about that later - for now, we need to get out of here."

Shoving away her disappointment, Jyn forced herself to focus on the situation at hand. Cassian was right - now was not the time for talking. "I've secured a freighter pilot to get us off Tatooine. His flight is scheduled to leave tomorrow morning" At this, she glanced up, noting that the visible moon overhead was already sinking toward the horizon, signalling how little time they had before their ride left, with or without them on board.

Cassian nodded, all business. She could see the wheels turning as he calculated their next move. "Right. Let's get out of here then, and head for the spaceport."

* * *

The sky was still dark, but Cassian thought maybe he could just start to see the morning's first light beginning to bleed its way into the night sky as they made their way stealthily to docking bay forty-six, finding that the starcraft which would carry them off-world was locked and vacant.

Tiredly, Cassian slid down to sit down heavily with his back resting against a plaster wall facing the silent craft. With an exhale, Jyn did the same. He tried to ignore the fact that she sat so close that their shoulders almost touched, but even as he stared straight ahead, her presence next to him was impossible to ignore.

For a long while, they sat in silence. He heard Jyn's breath even out, but could tell that she was still awake, gazing up at the fading stars in the sky above them. Contemplating the fading disk of moon as it sank down into the horizon, he vaguely recalled reading somewhere that Tatooine had three moons.

Finally, he spoke. "That man, he did not seem to like you very much."

Jyn snorted as she let out a short laugh. "No, he does not like me very much at all. As it turns out, he was still very angry about the last job I worked."

The silence stretched out between them, although it did not feel uncomfortable. Jyn fidgeted beside him, her shoulder brushing his own as she leaned forward to clasp her hands around her knees. "He hired me to protect a shipment bound for Jabba the Hutt's palace in the Northern Dune Sea. But he failed to inform me of the fact that the "asset" I was responsible for guarding was a _girl_. He expected me to help him engage in slavery." At this, her voice cooled noticeably and her back stiffened as she leaned against the wall. "I declined to complete the mission. The girl never made it to Jabba, and I never went back to Tatooine."

Cassian could feel a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Defying a direct order sounded very much like something Jyn would do. Then he felt a momentary pang of guilt - _would he have done the same?_ He already knew the answer, even if he didn't want to admit it to himself. After all, it had been Jyn, not him, who had risked her life to save that child on Jedha. He remembered at the time feeling only vexation, frustrated that the rebel he'd been saddled with on his mission to assassinate Galen Erso had risked endangering the entire mission to save a single life.

He tugged his brooding thoughts back to the present, trying to ignore how much they had troubled him. "So what exactly were you planning to do, after escaping this time?"

Jyn took a moment before answering. "Honestly, I hadn't really gotten that far. Find you, get you out, and get the hell off Tatooine."

He let out a sigh, trying to keep the exasperation from his voice. "You were going to try and come get me, with no plan or anything?"

Her shoulder rubbed against his tantalizingly as she shrugged. "I would have found a way." He felt her shift, and looked to see that she was no longer gazing up at the sky, but was instead staring disconcertingly at him. " _I_ got you into this mess. It was my fault that you were in this situation in the first place. I was going to get you out."

 _She was being serious_. The look in her eyes was open and honest. Her face had always been free of deceit: reading Jyn was like reading an open book. Staring into those green eyes, Cassian couldn't shake the unsettling feeling which took hold of him. He felt somehow as if he were trying to balance on a surface which invariably shifted each time he thought he had mastered his bearings. She was still eyeing him, and he still felt like he was tied to a rope pulling him in two very different directions.

Shoving the distressing feeling aside, he swallowed before speaking, part of him terrified that when he met her gaze, he would be taking a step forward down a path he would never be able to turn away from. "You didn't get me into anything. I came with you because I wanted to, and that is all." He could not hold her gaze any longer, and broke it to stare at the darkened ship in front of them.

Several more moments passed, and neither spoke. Slowly, light began to illuminate the open air of the spaceport. Somewhere in Mos Eisley, an infuriated Crake was being informed by a terrified employee that not just one, but _two_ of his captives had escaped during the night.

But, it seemed to Cassian that at that moment, there was only the two of them in the whole of the vast universe, shoulder-to-shoulder, ready to face the dawn.

* * *

Haha I feel so awkward writing fluffy(ish) stuff! This chapter felt like it took FOREVER to write, even though I had lots of ideas for writing it. I hope you enjoyed it! Let me know what you thought: good or bad, I'm always happy to hear from you lovely readers!


	7. Passage to Denon

I've been thinking quite a bit about Rogue One (obviously!), and I just feel so bad for poor Jyn and her family! Think of it: her dad spends years building this weapon of mass destruction, just wanting to see his daughter again and to redeem himself for all the bad things he's had to do for the Empire. He's finally able to see her again right before he dies, only to send her off on a mission which results in her own death. How sad and tragic! His love for his daughter was so endearing, but then his creation destroys her. I read somewhere that the ending of the film as released was actually different from what was originally planned. Do you guys think that in some other universe (other than in fanfiction), Jyn and Cassian could have survived Scarif?

Thanks again for the lovely reviews! I was so happy to hear that you like how I'm developing this story, particularly the relationship between Jyn and Cassian. My guest reviewer pegged my approach perfectly: Cassian is hesitant to express his feelings, and is held back by doubt and his responsibilities to the Alliance. Jyn, on the other hand, while being a kickass soldier, is far more willing to express her feelings. I love the idea of a hero AND heroine who are strong enough to cry and be vulnerable. As far as I am concerned, sometimes being open takes way more courage than closing yourself off. We'll work on Cassian.

Anyways, thank you for reading and enjoying! Reading your encouraging reviews is a big part of the fun of writing fanfiction and sharing it, so thanks!

* * *

 **Chapter seven: passage to Denon**

 _There is freedom within_

 _there is freedom without_

 _Try to catch a deluge in a paper cup_

 _._

 _There's a battle ahead_

 _many battles are lost_

 _But you'll never see the end of the road_

 _While you're traveling with me_

 _._

 _Crowded House - Don't Dream It's Over_

* * *

Darkness gave way to subtle greys as Cassian watched dawn's first light begin to gradually colour the departure bay around him. The temperature still felt almost cool, but he knew that it would only last for a short time before the second sun rose and the heat spiked to reach unbearable temperatures.

He was acutely aware of Jyn's steady breathing at his side. She'd drifted off not long after their conversation had lapsed into silence, and he felt no urge to wake her. Turning his head to glance down at her, he noticed now that she looked uncomfortable, her neck craned forward as her chin rested lightly against her chest, her knees drawn up and resting lightly against his own. He wondered idly if he should try to adjust her posture so she would not wake up with a kink in her neck, but the thought of reaching out to touch her filled him with a sudden and irrational sense of dread.

He didn't want to waste time mulling over the reasons why he had gone after her last night. Closing his eyes, the captain leaned the back of his head tiredly against the wall behind him. What had possessed him to chase after her so recklessly, he could not say. He could identify no logic or reason to justify his actions.

Armed with only his pistol and a prayer, he'd raced out of the compound he'd been imprisoned in and commandeered a craft to get him across the city. Without a single thought for stealth or subtlety he took out the first two guards, their shouts and the sound of his blaster fire a blatant announcement of his assault. What kind of amateur engaged in such an ill-advised attack? That sort of foolhardy behavior should have been driven out of him long ago, Cassian mused darkly. Kaytoo would not have approved.

He'd rounded that corner, out of breath and not giving a bantha's ass whether he woke the whole city, because he was driven by a senseless fear that _if something happened to her_ -

A fear of _what_? If something _did happen_ to Jyn Erso, then what?

After all, he reasoned, he didn't really _know_ her. Certainly, he had read her file. He knew about her childhood, raised by Saw Guerrera and his rebels. He knew that before the Empire had seized her father Galen Erso to construct their weapon of mass destruction, she had lived in Coruscant with her parents. He was also aware of her admittedly extensive criminal past. And so?

Cassian let out a sigh, studying the deserted starship in front of them, idly watching the way the morning light reflected off the dull panels of the craft's hull. He knew that he shouldn't want to know anything more. Her file had given him the information he'd needed to complete the mission - anything else was irrelevant. So he didn't really know her, after all.

Running a hand through his hair, a part of him wondered whether it was really healthy to be having a debate with oneself when there was so much else to be concerned about. _What was the point in fooling himself?_

He knew enough about Jyn Erso to know that she was loyal, and faithful to an almost irrational degree. She was headstrong, fiery, and reckless, and there was no point trying to rationalize why he acted the way he did around her. Since meeting her, disobeying direct orders and rushing headfirst into dangerous situations seemed to be his new _modus operandi_.

He wondered idly what Kaytoo would have to say about his chances of survival now.

Jyn stirred next to him, letting out a low groan as she woke, rubbing at her neck with her right hand. "Not a nice way to fall asleep," she muttered with a wince. She looked to the horizon, and Cassian tried not to notice the way the bridge of her nose crinkled when she squinted up into the intensifying light, or the fact that she seemed to have a few freckles dotting her nose - _he'd never noticed those before._ He also tried to ignore that he could immediately catch the way that self-doubt clouded her green eyes, and how she bit the inside of her cheek when she noted with concern that both suns were now fully visible. He finally had to force himself to tear his gaze away, not because he could also recognize the way her full lips pursed together when she was deep in thought, but because he was far too fixated on the fullness of those lips. Dimly, he recognized that she was speaking. "BoShek should be here. He said he'd be ready to go first thing in the morning."

Focusing only on the faint note of concern in her voice, Cassian tried to make his own response sound more confident than he felt. "He's a pilot for hire on Tatooine. Don't go expecting too much. He'll be here, I'm sure of it."

Jyn opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted when he suddenly held up a hand to stop her. Stiffening, he looked past her to investigate the movement he'd caught out of the corner of his eye near the entry to the docking bay. A man was walking toward them. Automatically, his hand went to the pistol at his side as he stood, trying to ignore the way his stiff muscles protested the movement.

Jyn rose beside him, placing a hand on his to still his movement as she called out to the man approaching them "BoShek. I'm glad to see you."

The pilot did not respond until he reached them, pausing to give Cassian an up-and-down look before nodding thoughtfully. "My apologies. There was quite a ruckus here yesterday, and it took longer than usual to get the necessary departure permits. I take it this is your companion?"

Cassian nodded, holding out his hand and mentally preparing his alias. "Nice to meet you. I'm-"

Their pilot waved in a cursory manner. "I am not particularly interested. So far as I am concerned, the less I know about you, the less I will be able to share, should someone come asking about you later."

She had chosen a good pilot. Cassian glanced to Jyn with approval, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. She grinned back in response, her green eyes sparkling. Feeling his cheeks warm as the blood rushed to his face, he tore his gaze from hers, focusing intently at the vessel parked nearby in an attempt to bring himself back under control.

 _This was going to be trouble._

BoShek coughed into his hand. "Well, then. I still have some cargo to load. I don't particularly care where you wait, so long as you stay out of the way. I will let you know when we are ready to go."

* * *

Tatooine's twin suns were shining brightly overhead when BoShek was finally satisfied that his cargo was secure and made ready to leave. Jyn raised her arms overhead as she stretched, wincing as she became aware of how sore she was. When was the last time she had really slept?

As they boarded the vessel, Cassian kept pace with the captain up the boarding ramp. "So what was this you mentioned about a ruckus yesterday?"

BoShek sighed heavily. "Quite a commotion indeed. A firefight with Imperial sandtroopers, in the spaceport no less - and a ship breaking through the Empire's blockade to escape Tatooine." The captain spoke in a low voice as they followed him up the gangplank. "Pretty mad to think that the Empire wanted two droids that badly. Flights leaving Mos Eisley were grounded for most of the day, but the Imperial star destroyers cleared out pretty quick once they found out that the droids they were after were gone."

Cassian paused as he entered the vessel, frowning. Jyn glanced toward him, recognizing the way that his brow furrowed when he was deep in thought. He might be an intelligence officer, but he had his tells, too. She could almost read his thoughts - _the Empire sent star destroyers after two droids?_

Jyn stopped next to him. "Mos Eisley was crawling with sandtroopers, all looking for these two droids." He started at the sound of her voice, turning to look at her. "The Empire showed up just recently, actually." His eyes searched hers. She could read the plain warning in them: _we should talk elsewhere._

She had to push back the sense of irritation that rose unbidden within her. Just who did he think he was, anyway? He wasn't _her_ commanding officer, and she didn't need to be told when she should or shouldn't speak. Stifling her annoyance, she started back up the ramp, Cassian following behind.

BoShek showed them to their quarters, pausing at the door as they entered. "I am sorry that it is not any larger. I do not often carry passengers." He glanced over to them. "Although, it seems as though you do not have many possessions, either." He gestured up the hall with his hand. "I will be up front, if you need me. We will be departing soon." And with that, he left them.

Their quarters consisted of a small room with two single beds and a small round table with two short stools. She could span the distance between the two beds in several steps, but Jyn wasn't concerned about the size of their new lodging. She just wanted off Tatooine, and to put as much distance between her and Crake as possible. She moved to one of the beds and sat down, letting out a sigh.

Cassian glanced her way, and again she rankled at the coolness in his expression. "I'm going to go and check on our planned course with our new captain." With that he disappeared, leaving her alone to her own devices.

Dropping back onto the firm bed with a sigh, Jyn stared restlessly at the ceiling. What was she expecting? Did she think that Cassian would come running into her arms? Did she even _want_ Cassian to come running into her arms?

The sudden thought of being in Cassian's embrace made her flush, and she scrubbed angrily at her cheeks. She wasn't sure she could quantify her feelings for the Rebel captain - the events of the past few days had happened too quickly to keep track of. However, quick or no, her memories of the moment they had shared on that beach, about how tightly he had held her to him, and the way he had looked at her, were as clear in her mind as if they had happened only moments ago.

Her memories were accurate, but they also said nothing of Cassian's motives. Jyn found herself suddenly paralyzed by a nagging doubt. What if the look she had seen in his eyes in the elevator was nothing more a man delirious from pain? What if the embrace on the beach was nothing more than the manifestations of a simple wish not to die alone?

"Forget about it, Erso," she muttered to herself as she tried unsuccessfully to relax into the bed. Telling herself to forget about it was one thing. But what else was she supposed to do but think about where she stood with the captain, trapped on this tin bucket? The only alternatives - thinking of the fate of the rest of her companions - was far worse.

She glanced up as she heard the door open and Cassian entered the room. He dropped down heavily on the bed, glancing over toward her. "So, we are stopping first in Denon, before we reach Taris."

Jyn sat up, meeting his gaze. "How long until we reach Denon?"

The captain pursed his lips thoughtfully. "It's a straight shot once we get back on the Corellian Run. But, this ship was not exactly designed for speed. The hyperdrive is fairly standard for a freighter ship, a class 4. Probably about half a day, I'd say." Cassian ran a hand through his hair, distracted. His head tilted down as he thought, and she wondered idly if he knew that it was a mannerism he displayed often when he was engrossed in thought. "From there, it's a longer jump along the Hydian Way to Taris." Cassian paused. "It was very smart of you, to book a charter to Taris."

Before she could reply, they heard BoShek's voice over the intercom. "We are set to go. You may as well come up here."

They stood together, pausing awkwardly at the door before Jyn finally took the lead and stepped quickly through the door, following the direction that BoShek had pointed to earlier when he'd dropped them off. The craft was organized systematically, and she had been on enough starships to find her way to the cockpit without too much trouble. Her efforts to try and ignore Cassian's presence as he followed behind her were more of a challenge, and she could not help but feel his presence prickling at her from behind.

The door opened to reveal BoShek and the cockpit, and Jyn quickly slid into the closest seat available, trying to ignore the way the back of her neck burned.

BoShek sat in the pilot's seat, facing forward as he gestured towards the seat next to him. "You sounded like you know your way around a spaceship. Mind playing copilot for the jump to hyperspace? I recently had to let mine go. I have made arrangements to purchase a droid to replace him in Denon, so your responsibilities would end there."

Cassian gave an affirmative reply, but didn't say anything to her as he settled into the seat next to the pilot. Jyn studiously observed the panel across from her, and if the intelligence officer noticed that anything was amiss, he did nothing to show it. "Course is laid."

BoShek nodded, speaking to the spaceport control through the comm system as he verified approval for their departure. "Let's be off, then."

Jyn braced herself in the seat, wincing slightly at the jerk of the craft as it maneuvered to leave the sandy planet below, gritting her teeth together as the ship rattled on its exit from the planet's atmosphere. Something about flying had always made her a little bit uncomfortable. She took a moment to observe the golden planet below before the drop in her stomach informed her that they had left realspace and had engaged the hyperdrive. She gazed out the window in front of the pilot's chair, absently watching the blue streaks indicative of hyperspace travel as they flashed by the window.

"Thanks. That's all I will be needing from you, for now." BoShek did not turn to look at them as he spoke, engrossed in his work.

Jyn stood, and glanced briefly at Cassian as he moved to stand. They made their way back to their shared quarters without speaking, the silence stretching between them until the door finally closed behind them.

"So," Cassian spoke as he sat down on his bed, "now you can tell me what you know about these two droids."

Jyn sat down on the stool at the end of the room, leaning her back against the wall. "I don't know anything about the droids, to be honest. I spent most of my time on Tatooine trying my best to avoid Imperial attention, so I wasn't keen on asking too many questions. But Crake said that a star destroyer appeared not long after we crashed on the planet."

Cassian pursed his lips, deep in thought. "So you didn't find out anything about the reason why the destroyers were there, or why the Empire was after the droids?"

"It wasn't really a priority for me." She tried, but couldn't keep the defensive tone from her voice. "I was a little busy, trying to keep you alive and not getting caught."

His look was piercing as he eyed her, and she felt frustration rise unbidden in her chest. "Okay, fine. Understood. So how did we manage to get off Scarif, exactly?"

She let out a measured breath, trying not to seethe as his scrutiny began to feel increasingly more like an interrogation. "We were on the beach, at Scarif. And then suddenly there was an Imperial ship, and an Alliance soldier helped me to carry you on board. Two Rebel forces soldiers had commandeered the vessel, and somehow saw us on the beach as they were making their escape. We barely made it out before the base on Scarif was destroyed." Her voice caught, and her frustration melted away as she looked down at the floor. She fought to keep the tremble from her voice. "I thought you were going to die. There was a medpac on board, and I did the best I could to keep you alive until we reached Tatooine."

Cassian's eyes were unreadable as she looked back up. He didn't speak, and instead motioned for her to go on. She let out a breath before continuing her story. "We landed on Tatooine and destroyed the Imperial shuttle. The two Alliance soldiers had arranged passage off-world, but you were too injured to travel. And so I contacted Crake, because I knew he could help. And I think from there, you can figure out what happened."

The captain's brow was furrowed as he thought on her words in a way that she would have found endearing had his scrutiny not been directed at her. "And so then this Crake sold you to the Hutts, and I woke up in a cell."

The words were stated matter-of-factly and without malice, but her eyes still widened as she felt the words sink in. Surprise then gave way quickly to anger, "Don't you go patronizing me," she hissed furiously. "I can't believe you!" She was standing now, jabbing her finger into the chest of a thoroughly startled Cassian. "Next time, remind me _not_ to save you, if you think you can do such a better job of it!" Throwing her hands up in frustration, she stormed from the room.

Cassian stared at the door once it closed behind her, incredulous. "Definitely trouble…"

* * *

The ship was not particularly large, and it didn't take long to cover the entire craft. As she walked, Jyn felt her anger bleeding away from her, soon replaced by embarrassment. That may have been a bit of an overreaction.

She knew why she had reacted the way she did, though. The thought of the captain made her insides roil unpleasantly. Her feelings for him were complicated, but she had thought that after all they had been through, she had at least earned his trust and friendship. The Cassian who spoke to her was clinical, a captain of the Rebellion and her superior in rank. And Jyn had never handled authority very well.

She circled the ship's decks one more time, and although she managed to cool down, she didn't succeed at sorting through the tangled mess of her feelings. She paused, biting at her lip uncertainly. She didn't know how to act around the captain now. Where did they stand?

Sighing, she stopped in front of the door to their quarters. Rolling her shoulders back and setting her face, she opened the door to a darkened room. In the dimness, she thought she spotted Cassian's form laying still on his bed.

Relieved that this meant she wouldn't need to talk to him (or apologize for her tantrum), Jyn slipped to her bed and lay down on the mattress, staring absently at the ceiling as she held her kyber crystal against her chest. She listened to the sound of Cassian's steady breathing, _in_ and _out_. She'd been too brash in her anger, she knew. Cassian was just doing what he did best - gathering intelligence and analyzing it objectively.

She resolved to apologize to him when he woke up.

Despite her exhaustion, sleep came slowly. And with it came the nightmares.

* * *

Jyn woke drenched in sweat and again fighting a drowning sense of panic. It was dark in the room, and she fought to breathe as she stumbled out of the bed to turn on the light.

As light flooded the room, she sat down hard on the floor, again waiting for her trembling to subside. Glancing over to the other bed, she felt relieved when she saw that Cassian was gone. She didn't want him to see her like this, to know how weak she was. Leaning her head back against the wall, Jyn closed her eyes.

Her parents had visited her dream this time. Their words haunted her, her mother's bloody and outstretched hand burned into her mind. _You failed us, failed the Rebellion, failed to save anyone._ Her father, clutching at his side as he gazed at her in despair. _My Stardust; why?_

 _She'd failed them all - failedfailedfailedfailedfailed-_

Jyn bit down hard on her knuckle, trying to banish the condemning words from her mind. The pain in her hand finally brought her back to the present, and she let out a shaky breath. She clenched her eyes tight until she saw bright spots of light against her closed eyelids, then opened them. Forcing herself to stand, she reached for the kyber crystal around her neck as she hardened her expression. _Get over it._

She became slowly more aware of her surroundings, realizing at once that she could no longer hear the steady hum of the ship's hyperdrive. In fact, she heard no sounds from the engine at all - they appeared to have stopped. Stepping outside the door, she almost bumped into BoShek.

Wisely, the pilot said nothing about her dishevelled appearance. "We've docked at Denon. We should be here for a few hours, while the cargo unloads and I go to pick up my droid." He gestured back to the cockpit. "Your friend has asked to stay for a while. He wanted to make use of the ship's comm systems, so that is where you will find him."

The last person she wanted to deal with right now was Cassian Andor. "I'm going off ship."

BoShek shrugged. "Whatever you want. Just be sure to be back before we leave. A few hours now, eh?"

Jyn nodded, nearly sprinting in her hurry to get off the ship. The air on board the vessel was stifling, and she felt the need to stretch her legs. She desperately felt the need to leave thoughts of her parents, and one enigmatic intelligence officer, behind her, at least for a while.

* * *

The news from the Alliance was not good.

The plans had been received by the Rebel vessel _Profundity_ , under command of Admiral Raddus. However, the vessel had been incapacitated in the fighting and had not escaped Scarif.

Some Rebel troops had managed to evacuate the ailing cruiser on board the Tantive IV, along with Princess Leia Organa and the Death Star plans.

The Alliance had lost contact with Tantive IV over the planet Tatooine, where it had been fallen under attack and been overrun by an Imperial star destroyer.

Both the Princess and the plans were missing.

No one had survived the surface fighting on Scarif.

It had taken longer than it should have to convince the dispatch officer that he _was_ indeed Cassian Andor, and should be patched directly through to General Draven. Then, he faced still more disbelief from the General that he had actually survived. Cassian thought back guiltily to his last conversation with Jyn, admitting that he probably could have handled it better. A _thank you for saving my life_ had probably been in order.

And then, of course, the news got worse.

When Cassian finally signed off and pushed back from the console, his heart felt as heavy as his conscience. As he moved to step out of the cockpit, he passed BoShek. The pilot frowned, gesturing behind him.

"Everyone is talking about Alderaan. But there is no way it could possibly be true…" BoShek sat down at the console. "The rumors say it is _gone_ \- just like that - _silence_. The power to destroy a planet…" his voice faded as he worked at the console. "It cannot possibly be true."

Cassian stood, feeling a weariness settle deep in his bones. The pilot looked back up to him. "Your pretty friend scurried off ship right quick, but she should be back before we leave. I suggest you take the time while we're here to freshen up, too. You look like you could use it."

He left the craft, feeling detached from his body as he went to follow the pilot's suggestion to find a shower. He felt almost as if he were observing himself from above. _It must be shock._

 _The power to destroy an entire planet…. And we failed to stop it._

* * *

Cassian was sitting at the table in their shared quarters when Jyn returned, his eyes staring emptily ahead as he went through his conversation with Alliance headquarters for what felt like the hundredth time. As he turned to meet her gaze, he could tell immediately that she knew, too. Her wide eyes broadcast her anguish, openly and for the world to see.

 _I should really warn her not to be so open with her emotions._ He immediately felt guilty at the thought, and angry with himself. He didn't want that for Jyn, didn't want her to become like him, a broken shell of a man.

Jyn moved slowly to take the seat across from him and their eyes met across the table. Reaching into the bag she carried with her, she placed two short glasses on the table, followed next by a tall bottle of Corellian rum.

Neither spoke as she poured a measure into each of their glasses. The liquid burned down his throat as he threw it back with practiced ease, and Jyn moved to fill the glass as soon as it touched the table.

 _Trouble. Definitely trouble._

* * *

Well, that chapter sort of took on a life of its own! I like the idea of the relationship between Jyn and Cassian taking time to develop (with some hiccups along the way). Hopefully you agree? Leave me some feedback! Please! :)


	8. And a bottle of Corellian rum

Since when did alcohol ever get anyone in trouble? Hope you all enjoy! :)

* * *

 **Chapter eight: and a bottle of Corellian rum**

 _Our hopes and expectations_

 _Black holes and revelations_

 _._

 _Hold you in my arms_

 _I just wanted to hold_

 _You in my arms_

.

 _Muse - Starlight_

* * *

By his best estimate, Cassian started to feel the effects of the rum after about a third of the bottle was gone. He didn't often drink - alcohol impacted one's motor skills and inhibited reaction time, both necessary skills to make it to the next day unscathed. Sometimes though, the bottle was an effective means to numb pain, giving momentary respite from memories that he'd failed to banish from his mind.

Noticing now that both glasses were empty, he reached forward to fill first Jyn's cup, and then his own. Glancing up at his silent companion across the table, he frowned when he caught sight of her tortured expression.

"Stop it."

Startled by the sound of his voice, Jyn refused to meet his stare head on, and studied her newly filled glass instead. A frown tugged at her lips, her tone defensive as she said, "stop _what_?"

He crossed his arms, leaning back on the stool with his back resting lightly against the wall. He could feel the comforting hum of the hyperdrive as the ship carried them across the galaxy to Taris, each minute bringing them closer to the rebellion. _Should going back make him feel relieved, or anxious?_ "You know what."

"Thinking on it won't change things. We did all we could do." Jyn's brow settled into a frown, and she opened her mouth as if to argue. Before she could speak, he interjected, trying to emphasize his point. "Jyn, there is nothing more that we could have done."

The rebel let out a sigh, running a hand through her dark hair. It was loose, freed from the knot which normally held it back from her face. He felt a twinge of something pulling at him - sadness, maybe - when he noted that she looked no freer of spirit for it. "If only we had been there sooner. Or if we had had just been quicker to send the plans-"

"Jyn. Stop." His eyes narrowed. "The plans may still be out there. A ship escaped the battle, and the messenger is still missing." Reaching across the table, he placed his hand atop her own. When she jerked hers back in response, he tried to keep his face even, to disguise the way her distaste at his touch had made his heart clench. He kept speaking, his words confidently belying the aching in his soul. "The Empire hasn't gotten the plans back, yet, Jyn. There is still hope!"

Her hand - _the hand that had been so disgusted with his touch -_ clenched into a tight fist on the table. Her voice was tremulous as she spoke. "What does it matter! Alderaan - the whole goddamned planet - is _gone_!" Eyes bright with unshed tears, she brought her clenched fist down hard on the table. Some of the dark liquid in her cup splashed onto the table, and she watched with a hollow expression as the liquor pooled around the base of her glass.

This was not the Jyn Erso that he knew, this defeated and broken woman before him. _And what would she think, if she found out who you really were?_

If Jyn ever knew about the blood on his hands, she would do more than just pull away from his touch.

If she ever found out about the things he'd done in the name of the Rebellion, she would not be sitting across from him, casually sharing a bottle of Corellian rum.

Trapped in his own internal prison, her voice snapped him out of his dark thoughts as she spoke again. "My father built it, Cassian. He trusted _me_ to make sure that the planet killer would never be used and _I failed him_." She tore her gaze from the glass, and now all he could see was the top of her head. Her shoulders shook with a silent sob, and he tried to ignore the helpless feeling that rose unbidden in his chest. "I failed them all. Rogue one, Bodhi, Baze, Chirrut, Kaytoo and the rest… they died for nothing because _I wasn't good enough!_ " She spat out the last words like they were poison, dragging a hand angrily across her eyes as she kept her head bowed.

It suddenly registered to him that she blamed herself for it all - that she carried each death on her shoulders. The logical, analytical side of the captain was incredulous. _How irrational, to blame herself for the deaths of those who had volunteered to die._ But oh, the human side of him understood.

 _Was he really any different?_ The only difference between him and Jyn, he thought harshly, was that he'd just learned _not to feel_ the despair. He had mastered the performance, perfected the act. Like oil slid away from water's touch, none of that guilt stuck to Cassian Andor.

And meanwhile, some part of him he'd long since buried away was drowning beneath the weight of the sins he'd committed. He knew that he couldn't afford those debilitating feelings of regret, not when he was on a mission and any mistake could get him killed. And he could afford it even less when he _wasn't_ on a mission, and all he had to offer the nameless, countless faces of his victims was that _it was for the sake of the cause - for freedom._

What did it mean anyway, to die for freedom? For whose freedom? After this war was fought, would anyone be left to live in the freedom they'd fought and died for? Would the lives sacrificed along the way somehow be worth more, because of it?

Cassian closed his eyes, suddenly feeling very old, and very tired. Opening them, he saw that Jyn's head was still bowed, although thankfully her shoulders seemed to have stopped their shaking.

"Jyn."

She didn't respond.

"Look at me."

She finally did look up, and he almost regretted asking her to. Inextricably, her green eyes pulled at him and he felt like he was suffocating, drowning in her. Trying to shake off the troubling feeling - _this was trouble, definitely trouble_ \- he reached forward. This time when he reached for her hand, she did not pull away. He forced away the feeling of elation at her touch, tried to ignore the way his tired heart skipped a beat when she didn't pull away. Her hands were soft, and warm, and deliciously _alive_. Her eyes were open, wide as they met his: Jyn didn't hide from her feelings, like he did. She was no coward.

"You cannot bear the burden of those deaths. You did everything you could - you did more than anyone else was willing to do." As he spoke and saw the light slowly come back to her, and the disorienting feeling of vertigo began to fade as he grounded himself in those eyes. His voice felt stronger, more convicted - he supposed that speaking the truth could do that. "We all followed you because we believed in you - _I still believe in you_."

He could hear General Draven's voice, dripping with contempt. _She has no loyalty to any person or cause except herself. She should have been left in jail._ A week ago, Cassian might have agreed with that evaluation. "Before, when I said rebellions were built on hope, I never really believed it." She was really listening now, blinking as a stray tear slid slowly down her cheek. Cassian wanted so badly to brush it away, but instead willed his free hand to stay rigid at his side. "I didn't believe it until I met you. I lived the rebellion, I did terrible things, actions and failures to act that I will regret until the day I die." Was he delirious, or had she squeezed his hand? "You were right. I was no better than a stormtrooper." What had made his throat catch? He had to anchor himself in her touch, her own smaller hand clasped tightly in his own. "But _you are different_."

He swallowed. Her hand felt warm in his, her eyes shining as she hung onto his words. "You can't carry the weight of their deaths on your own. We _succeeded_ , we sent the plans. And as long as there is still a chance, we will keep on fighting."

For what felt like ages, Jyn stared at their hands, clasped together. He pushed away the insecurity that struck him - _was she disgusted now, seeing him finally for the coward that he was?_ Finally, she looked back up and met his gaze head on. He could still see the raw pain, a look that aged her, and declared for the world to see that just because she'd survived didn't mean she'd forgotten all that she'd lost. But now underlying the hurt he caught sight of the steely resolve he knew her so well for, a determination which had rallied a band of miscreants and mercenaries to her cause because of the simple _conviction_ in her being. Jyn drew people to her, in a way that he could neither deny nor explain.

Her voice caught as she whispered back to him: "until the chances are all spent."

He squeezed her hand, and she squeezed his back, speaking words that felt safe because they were familiar, because they represented all that he could give her. "All the way."

* * *

 _Was half the bottle already gone?_

Sitting comfortably on the stool, the room seemed suddenly much too warm, and Jyn fluffed at the hair stuck to the back of her neck to cool herself down. Realizing that her glass was once again empty, she focused carefully on making smooth, natural movements as she poured a measure first for Cassian, and then for herself.

"So, what about these two Alliance pilots?"

Cassian's voice sounded distant, and she blinked hard as she sipped at her glass. A shrinking part of her clutched desperately at sobriety, warning her that _now would be a good time to stop drinking rum_ , but honestly, Jyn really didn't give a shit about sobriety or decorum at this point.

"Jyn?"

"Hmm?" Glancing up at the captain, she fought to focus, her mind sluggish as she worked her way back to his original question. "Oh, right. The two Alliance soldiers. I never got their names. They dropped me off at the medical clinic - Crake's clinic, actually - on Tatooine, and I never saw them again. Did you hear anything about them, when you talked with the Alliance?"

Cassian shook his head, and she fought to ground herself in something steady. The room had started to spin in a manner that she found more than just a little disconcerting. She finally settled on his eyes, placing her elbows on the table as she rested her chin on her folded hands. Cassian's eyes were something of an enigma, she thought to herself idly. Even when he was angry, or playing the part of the captain and trying to pull rank on her, she'd always thought she'd seen a vulnerability there, some kind of warmth or softness unbefitting of the frigid image that the intelligence officer projected.

"I didn't hear anything, but that doesn't mean they didn't make it off Tatooine. Yavin 4 is across the galaxy, and unless they were able to get transport on a fast ship, they are in a situation like us, and travelling more slowly on a freighter vessel."

She caught herself nodding into her hands, the weight of her head feeling suddenly much heavier. Reaching for her glass, she took another sip of the liquor, feeling the warmth move down her throat to settle in her chest. _How strange_ , she mused, _that it stops burning after you've had a few shots._

Suddenly noting that Cassian's glass was still full, she shot him an accusing glare. "You can't seriously expect me to drink the whole bottle, can you?"

For a minute he looked like he might try to argue with her, but instead he just shrugged, tipping the glass back as he finished it. Pouring himself some more, he filled her glass as well.

"So, tell me about yourself, Captain Andor." Leaning forward onto her folded hands, she stared up at the captain.

Cassian blinked at her, and something caught at the edges of her jumbled mind, an expression that crossed his normally guarded face so quickly she almost missed it - _fear_?

"Er, so what do you want to know?"

She shrugged, fighting to keep the slur from her voice and the tremble from her hand as she brought the glass to her lips in what she was confident was a smooth and graceful motion. "Well, let's start at the beginning. Where are you from?

"I doubt you'll have heard of it," he said as he glanced at his glass, bringing it to his lips. For a moment, Jyn thought he wasn't going to answer her. He poured himself another measure of the Corellian rum, eyeing it as he tilted his glass. "I was born on a planet called Fest. This stuff is terrible, you know that, right?"

Jyn let out a laugh, feeling a lightness in her chest. _Must be the booze._ "But it's cheap, and after your medical bills and paying the deposit for this trip, it was pretty well all I could afford."

A shadow crossed his face, and the captain frowned. "About that Jyn, I want to apologize."

The words took a moment to sink in, and she looked up, puzzled. "Apologize for what?"

"I mean, I wanted to thank you." Was it just her, (or the rum), but did the captain look uncomfortable? She fought to keep the grin from her lips as Cassian tugged at his collar. "And well, also to apologize, for not thanking you, I guess."

Jyn waved a hand, trying to give the impression that she was nonchalant about the whole situation. "Don't worry about it, Cassian. I'm sure you would have done the same for me." And whether it was the alcohol lowering her inhibitions, or the fact that she hadn't slept properly in days, or the sudden knowledge that even though she had been fine to be alone and on her own for years, it had really just sunk in that whatever family might have existed for her in Saw Guerrera and her father were now beyond any doubt _gone_ , she could not stop herself from blurting out the words that followed. "Whether you like it or not, Captain, you are all I have left now. I wasn't going to let you die."

And there it was again, that _look_ that she had caught fleetingly before, the same look he had given her on Tatooine after she'd voiced her relief that he was safe and he had stood stiff as a board in her embrace. The intelligence officer wasn't quite as good at hiding his emotions as he thought, she mused.

Feeling her cheeks warm, (it must be the alcohol), Jyn coughed into her hand, trying to make light of the situation. "But seriously, when we land in Taris, you are going to have to find a way to pay BoShek."

And at that Cassian leaned his head back and laughed, and even though it wasn't funny in the slightest, Jyn found herself grinning back at him too.

* * *

Cassian couldn't remember the last time he'd enjoyed the company of another person. Actually, did travelling with a reprogrammed Imperial droid even count as company? He couldn't remember the last time he drank because he _wanted_ to, not because he needed the alcohol to stop his hands from shaking or the way his memories sometimes started to play back unbidden, like a holo on repeat, over and over and over again.

Jyn let out a laugh. She was talking with her hands now, and her eyes sparkled. She was most certainly intoxicated now (how couldn't she be? She was smaller than he was, and even he thought the floor was starting to move suspiciously), slurring her words slightly as she leaned forward over the table. "But seriously, he thought he had bought himself an escort for the night - it must have been the dress." A lock of hair fell across her face, and lazily, she brushed it back. "Let's just say that he didn't get what he thought he paid for. I, on the other hand, made out with the information that I needed and probably enough credits to retire, if I wanted."

Cassian grinned, finding no trouble picturing an affronted diplomat who had just discovered that his security system had been compromised, and that he'd also been robbed. Now, trying to imagine Jyn in a dress? That was more of a challenge. "So why didn't you, then?"

"Hmm?" She pushed her hair back from her face again, looking up at him with an unguarded expression. "Oh, what would I do with all those credits, anyway?" She gave an unconcerned shrug. "I found some people who could make better use of the money, and left them with it."

Of course she hadn't spent the credits on herself. This was Jyn they were talking about - the one who had dived in front of blaster fire to save a child that she didn't even know. For a while, he'd tried to fool himself into thinking he had honour like that. _He knew better now,_ he thought darkly.

"Stop that." Despite the fact that her words slurred together slightly as she spoke, the indignation in her voice unmistakable.

Cassian glanced up, startled by her tone. "Stop what?"

"Whatever dark thoughts are swirling about in that head of yours." At this she crossed her arms over her chest, frowning at him while swaying precariously on her stool. "You get this serious look in your face, like somehow you are responsible for everything bad that has ever happened. Stop trying to make yourself older than you already are, Cassian." A smile tugged at her lips, but quickly died as she continued. "Don't go thinking that you're the only one who has done terrible things, just to survive." She glanced down, studying her calloused hands. "Sometimes, it's not just to survive, either."

Her eyes were sober as she looked up, shocking in their clarity as she caught him in her stare. "Don't go thinking you are the only one in the universe who regrets the paths they've chosen, who has done dishonourable things."

The silence stretched out between them again, Cassian's mind spinning as he came to the sudden realization that:

 _First._ He really wasn't half as good as he thought he was at hiding what was going on in his mind, if Jyn could read him that easily. What kind of intelligence officer was he? _Maybe he'd spent too much time around Kaytoo_ , he thought drily.

 _Second_. It couldn't be that easy, _just letting go_ , could it? Somehow, carrying the guilt felt like the only way to atone for the things he'd done, unquestioningly, in the name of the Rebellion. He suddenly thought back to the blind monk's observations about prisons of his own making, and wondered wryly if it was possible for someone to be both imprisoned and ignorant of their entrapment at the same time.

 _Third._ It was painfully obvious that this _situation_ was becoming harder and harder to control. Trying to stay objective, to remain detached, was increasingly impossible around Jyn Erso. _Was she even doing it on purpose?_

 _Fourth._ The rum was definitely trouble.

Her voice broke the tension, distracting him from his internal struggle as the object of his misery lifted the bottle, tipping it towards him invitingly with a lopsided smile on her face. "More rum?"

* * *

There wasn't much liquor left in the bottle now, and the conversation had again lulled into silence. Cassian was staring off into space, caught up again in his own thoughts. Battling his own demons was more like it, Jyn thought with a frown.

 _He thinks too much_ , she thought disapprovingly.

"I didn't really mean it, you know."

Cassian glanced at her curiously, and she fought the urge to look away, meeting his gaze with an earnest look. "About you, and following orders. I didn't mean it, when I said you were no better than a stormtrooper."

He shrugged, looking aloof, but Jyn wasn't convinced by his offhand attitude. She noticed how his posture had stiffened, seen how his brows drew down slightly while his jaw tightened. He had a frustrating way of not looking straight into her eyes, as if somehow by ignoring her she would drop the subject. _Like hell she would._

Cassian's voice was soft as he spoke. "It's fine. You weren't too far from the truth, to be honest."

He reached forward, pouring the last of the rum into their two glasses, and held it up to her.

She tapped the rim of her glass against his own and drank the it down, feeling tiredness pulling at her eyelids as she leaned forward on the stool. "No, Cassian, I _was_ wrong."

He was eyeing her carefully now. "Well, let's call it even then. My first impressions of you weren't so flattering, either."

She let out a huff, crossing her arms and trying to ignore the way the room spun from the movement. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, Kay didn't exactly paint the most flattering picture to start with," he said with a smile.

She placed her hand against her chest, remembering the shock of being dropped to the ground on her escape from the transport. Her first impressions of the reprogrammed Imperial droid were formed on her back on the ground, gasping for air and shocked by his decidedly un-Imperial and un-droid-like mannerisms, combined with the fact that he had the gall to _congratulate_ her for being "rescued". "Well, he didn't exactly make a good first impression, either."

"Ha! No, Kay was never one for tact." He looked at her across the table, his chin resting on his folded hands. Something about his stare, about the familiarity with which he spoke about the droid and the warmth in his eyes made her flush. "He didn't think you could be trusted. As I recall, he took issue with the way you knocked out Sergeant Ruescott Melshi and used a shovel against the rest of the extraction team - quite efficiently, I was told - to escape."

Jyn felt her cheeks flush as she shrugged defensively. "That wasn't my fault - I didn't know who they were." She covered her yawn with a hand, then shot Cassian a grin. "Well, maybe it was a little bit my fault. The shovel was probably an unnecessary measure."

Cassian's laughter caught her off guard, and she caught herself wishing she could hear it more often. He was far too serious, this captain.

* * *

She couldn't say how much time had passed, but Jyn was quite certain that she had dozed off at the table. Cassian's gentle touch on her shoulder roused her, and she heard herself mumble something about getting to bed. As she made to stand up, the room suddenly began to spin alarmingly, and startled, she reached out for something stable.

And then Cassian was next to her, his arm secure around her waist. She glanced up into the concerned face of the Rebel captain. _He'd shaved_ , she thought hazily. _When had that happened?_ "Okay, m'hm fine." She struggled to place words in the correct order as she spoke - they felt jumbled, incoherent in her mind. "Well maybe some help, then."

It was only a few steps to reach her bunk, and she felt an absurd sense of loss after she lay down and the warmth of his arms left her. Reaching out, she caught Cassian's hand and he paused, looking down.

Maybe it was the way the room felt like it was spinning around her, but she thought she saw a softening in his face. Was she imagining it, that vulnerability in his eyes she thought she'd seen on Scarif? Fighting through the haze of sleep and the aftereffects of the rum, she tried to focus her mind on the sight, wanting to capture it next to the memory of an elevator, warm arms around her on a beach, and a feeling of being _safe_.

Maybe it was the alcohol talking. Her lips were tingling and her heart felt light, almost giddy. "When you told me, _welcome home_ , you weren't talking about the Rebellion."

It wasn't a question, but rather a statement of fact. Her eyes fluttered closed, and she pushed away at the darkness, fighting to keep his face in her sights and to to hold this warm feeling in her chest for just a little bit longer. Cassian was staring at her, and she thought for a moment that she saw fear in those eyes.

She didn't give a shit if her words scared him. "I am with you Cassian Andor, wherever you go." She couldn't keep her eyes open, and she held onto his hand tightly, like it was her lifeline. She didn't know if she spoke the words out loud or not, but she could not deny staggering sense of clarity that came to her then, transparent and absolute even through the fog of the liquor: _Cassian was home to her_.

* * *

Ta da! Chapter 8 down!

The past few weeks have been very busy for me, and writing very time-consuming. Thank you for all the support and lovely comments that you have written! I hope the wait was worth it!


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